Italia is taking a rest and I get tire(d)

July and August are obviously months in which there is an economic slowdown and the ‘only’ business is tourism and in Italia this is no different. Although there is a tiny thing that has angered me slightly… The 2nd and 3rd week of August are considered to be a must take holiday period with some weird consequences. In need of petrol? Well virtually all of them are closed. Needed to go for a check up of your car? All closed. Dryclean ? Closed. The list is long and can be quite annoying if you are in need of the above mentioned services and lucky me… I was! My front tire was flat and turned out to be more used than Paris Hilton…

When I finally found a shop that could repair them he old guy showed me the tire and gave me a lesson is safety and recommended to replace both of them at only 350 euro a bargain…

But Italia is Italia, prices are to be negotiated and two for the price of one seemed to be a fair deal. But looking back it was very impressed that I still managed to do 185km with them on a sandy road just behind the house. But was is more surprising it that I was be able to locate a shop open and willing to take the business.

The old guy smiled friendly and fixed my door as well. I like to be ripped off with a smile even during the Italian holiday season.

Get a grip

It has been awhile since the kitchen was finished by two professional Bob the Builders. However they didn’t put the handles on all the doors and drawers so opening them up was a bit of a challenge. Weekends seem therefore to be the most appropriate time to test my DIY skills and today’s challenge was of Olympic proposition; 20 handles. Key to succeed is as always the tools. After having tried a number of times with different machines and kits it was clear that my arsenal was not sufficient to conquer this war. A quick visit to the DIY store, where I stocked up on Wood, Metal and Cement drill bits. Now capable of making a hole in virtually any surface in my house I headed home to test it all.

With some precise measuring, I started to put the first handle in one of the drawers. At first all was normal until there was a release of smoke and it looked like I started to torch my kitchen. The lacque layer is obviously not appreciating the sudden drill action and is defending its territory. But after a little while I managed to get two holes ready to fix the first of many handles to come. The exercise, although long, isnt very difficult until I met with some proper resistance from the dishwasher. The dishwasher has been integrated and needed special care, the over confident me un screwed two panels and the whole electronic wiring dropped on my kitchen floor. Oops, this was not to open and I started to refit it all which I succeeded in doing after a struggle of 30 minutes with a flexible panel that refused to be put back.

Next challenge the fridge that has a special sliding door system that needed to come off too.
First part of the door was easy but the second part was more difficult since I wanted to continue the symmetry of the other handles. Obviously the system was exactly there were the handle needed to be fixed. With some MacGyver like skills I managed to create something that does both now. The rest was pretty straight forward and I managed to finish the whole kitchen in …bronze medal time. Next phase will be the bathroom but so far I have used my complete collection of drill bits and nothing has managed to get a hole in the tiles.

I guess a visit to the DIY will be needed to continue to transform my house in Dutch gatenkaas.

One week and still alive or...

It has been one week since the move and there are issues… well one big issue; mosquitoes and loads of them. The best thing about living in the South is basically being outside and still doing the things you need to do. Having breakfast, a coffee or lunch but also working and reading are all done outside in a quiet and warm environment. However towards the evening, there is an army of flying things that slowly takes over the place and starts eagerly kissing every human that is in its way. The results are interesting, legs and arms looking like a raisin bread gone wrong and the itching arrrrhhhhhhh. So the time has come that the new landlord starts to take control and shows them who is Boss!

A quick visit to the DIY store to stock the ammunition to start the battle. Two socket plugs with 24x7 lethal smell (whatever that means), two bottles of liquid citronella to fill up to burners, a can of spray and those funny circles that you burn slow also in citronella.

First evening all is put into action with mixed results. My philosophy is simple; you create something that smell bad to mosquitoes, they than will close their nose with one hand and obviously flying with one arm is impossible and they crash and burn, simple as that.
Turns out that some wear protective head gear or something cos the quantity has been reduced but the few still flying around seem to be ex Tour de France flyers (eg EPO filled) and strong as any Citronella tool.

I need to find an alternative tool that will win me the battle before I turn into a spotty looking guy with an bizarre itch…

Miracle of the slow kind

Tuesday evening at 22.00 I put my new key in the new house to start after only 100 days of extended delays, a multitude of problems, the ‘dream’ has finally become reality.

Looking at the dust inside, it clearly shows that 100 days have gone past without Mr Bosco being present but who cares?? The most important thing was and is the actual possession of the place and that means camping inside and taking for granted a number of minor obstacles that, to be honest, are all acceptable now !

The first evening, I installed a big lounge chair (or bed) in the middle of the garden to observe the stars and enjoy the silence. This is really a haven of peace and it is fantastic to just lay down and finally and realise that …Yes it was and is all worth it !

Update 2

Although positively certain that this weekend would be the weekend of moving in I arrived on Saturday morning with lots of stuff in the car at the entrance lane to the house.
I have learned from the past so I decided first to check out the status before the actual moving of stuff to the house. When I approached the house I heard a strange buzzing sound coming out of the house. Intrigued I opened the door and I spotted a very sweaty imitation of Father Xmas with a huge machine that was sanding the parquet floor AGAIN. Hang on, this was already done and the next phase, putting a protective layer on the floor too. A simple Italian French conversation didn’t really made thing clearer so a call to the agent was next. He was not aware of it and he was straight on the phone with the builders. Their feedback was disappointing again, they were not happy with the previous result and decided to redo the work.

Quality control is great but why leaving this for 5 days and starting it when I am suppose to move in??? The miracle world of builders remains a mystery for me and it was back to the ‘old’ apartment for yet a extended stay. The next day will be this coming Monday evening or Tuesday evening…well, I want to believe it but would this be smart?

The finish line is close but some builder is having fun repainting the line each time I am about to cross it, next time I will jump!

Update 1

Well it turns out that it is possible to become the president of Italia…Just got the confirmation for the Super Cup lottery tickets and I have obtained 2 ! The chance was very small or even microscopic but it meant that there was still a chance and two tickets are now in the pocket.
Flappy here we come !

Grandma to the rescue

In France there is a program that is called Super nanny with a simple concept; your household (with kids) is being observed and analysed before the tough looking lady announces a revolution and makes your household a model one.
In Italy there is an equivalent that is called SOS TATA, which is more traditional, with the lady wearing a silly blue dress with polka dots and having a face like a sour plum.

It made me curious, are Italian households as bad as the French ones?
Well Super Tata moves in with a successful business couple that has three kids. The house is big and the decoration is sort of ok and they seem quiet well balanced at first sight.
Meet the kids…three little men that are ready to show Super Tata that hell is created on earth.

The first two days, Super Tata observes and after 15 minutes her eyes are dropping on the floor. The two oldest lads have gone to the garden, where they both take a pee against dads Mercedes, before they move on to hose the little garden fence. This fence is particularly annoying after the pee session and they decide to kick it like there is no tomorrow. Having successfully terminated this job they move on to mums area. A place of peace and flowers, mum loves it and the boys too. After 15 minutes, they have managed to move all that is planted from right to the left side. At this stage mum walks in and is shocked! She talks to the boys…ragazzi this is not nice! Not nice? You are kidding me ! This is fun ! Inside the house diner is ready and they all sit at the table, little man 1 drops his pasta in the lap of his younger sister and little man 2 shoves his brothers head in the sauce. Mum and dad are not happy but what to do? Super Tata is lost, having an heart attack and frankly without a solution.

When the roles are being reversed and she takes over, she has the help of a Sos Tata number too and without real conviction starts to put down the rules.
The list is long, really long and stickers are handed to all kids for a job well done.

First this seems interesting to them but trying to smash the washing machine door, using the electric screw driver to drill holes in the walls and taking down the books from the shelves is much more fun although there are no stickers to be gained.
These boys are fantastic, every time I think they will become angels and they surprise everybody again and provide the parents with yet another challenge.
Super Tata is hopeless and although be able to score some points, she realised that these boys are destined for organised crime and she is being taking away by the ambulance.

Super Cup challenge

Getting tickets to the Super Cub in Monaco this year has become more attractive with some great players and certainly a number of great Dutch players. I was looking forward to attend it. At the front desk of the Stade Louis II, Jacques welcomed me, obviously bored out of his head but in a good mood. Hello bonjour, etc , 4 tickets please for the Supercup. Ah monsieur, are you a member of the ASM FC ?

Non, but I don’t mind being one. No no, you need to be a three year member, have green eyes, walk the 100meter under 15 seconds and drive a black car with green stripes….in other words, impossible! He continued, we only sell 200 tickets and they are for those previously mentioned crowd the rest ( something like 15.000) is for sponsors, players, official and oh yes some fans. Ok, cool, but how? Well, very simple you go to the website of the Eufa and register for a lottery of tickets, but only 2 tickets and to be honest I the chance of getting any is very very small.
I leave the place and log on to the website, after a frantic search I find the lottery and register, with credit card details and lots of other details I enter.

The results will be send by email before the 31st of July. Fingers crossed but honestly… becoming president of Italy seems easier.

Will it happen this weekend?

That is the one million euro question of this week. Will I finally move in after a tremendous amount of delays and problems that tested both my patience as well as my positive state of mind. But things are heading in the right direction. With the kitchen almost finished, the parquet floor ready and the walls will be touched upon a final time by the skilled hands of Leonardo Rhino the painter. Of course there are some major infrastructural issues outside the house but that should be resolved by mid August. Deadlines are short of, non interesting cos generally nobody sticks to it.

After for instance 3 failed meetings for the plumper, he finally showed up at 18.00 and had a quick look at it all and than notified me that he didn’t have the proper tools with him so he was off again… Fantastic, well matey just finish first the things for which you don’t need any tools and come back before the weekend or else… Of course he was very impressed by this… But in the end he managed to do a number of things that were useful. I have a good feeling about this weekend so I guess it will happen !

Than it just leaves me to create a For Sale sign and its back to the beginning.

Illegal alien

Last Friday I drove back after a late meeting and cocktail from France to Italy. I changed clothes and put on a t shirt since the weather was still so warm.
When I arrived at the Peage La Turbie, there was virtually nobody that was ‘willing to cross the border’ and I could choose basically any booth to pay. When I put in my credit card, a man dressed in a black uniform flashed his light in my eyes and pulled me over.

This was obviously a police officer that was happy to finally see a person and get some work done. He and his colleague looked with suspicion at me and I quickly washed off my smile.

He asked me straight to see what was in the booth. Sure, no problem open it, I have nothing to hide. No, sir, get out of the car and do it for us. Sure, you lazy man ! I got out, opened the booth, showed the inside of a potential hiding place and was allowed to close it. But the guy started to get a little bit aggressive. Did I know that cannabis is not allowed? Of course I do and by the way, I am Dutch. Oops, silly me. Why do I advocate the use of illegal drugs?

Pardon me? Yes, you are wearing a t shirt with a cannabis leaf on your left arm. What? Oh right, and since when this is illegal? He started to get really excited now. This is illegal in France and very stupid. Do you want me to take it off? Yes, I would, he replied, if I had it on my trouser or if I had another one it the car. You are taking the piss right? No Mr Black Uniform and moustache was not of the joking variety and started to read me the law. I was getting more and more pissed off and said that he must be bored to spend so much time over this and asked to leave. I was allowed and while I speeded off I could still hear him and his colleague debating.

I learned a wise lesson that evening…the safest way to cross the border is naked and with the booth open…you are warned !

Promenade poetry in motion

What is better after a good meal to go for a stroll on the promenade of Bordighera. Surely not as grand as the Promenade des Anglais but more charming. With a cool evening breeze and the wave hitting the shores the stroll started half way through.
The most enjoyable thing to do during a walk I find is to observe others and ‘figure out’ what they are doing or thinking. With the Italians being rather nocturnal, the play ground is still lively until about 23.00 with kids playing or trying not to fall asleep in buggies or tiny plastic houses.

The next part is more restaurant orientated and offers a lot of peeking options but let me just share one. With the tourist season in full swing, there is a fair part of the promenade crowd that is foreign and bless them …Dutch. My eye was caught by a group of rather grey and stubby folks that had rosy cheeks and of which one was wearing clocks (wooden shoes) the real deal with socks. I didn’t think anybody still wears them but this guy was serious about it. When I got a bit closer it was obvious, these gnome like people were farmers that probably purchased a cheap bus ticket with Oad to tour the South of France and surroundings. They have plenty of money in rappers terms ‘they keep it real’.

Funnily enough they sat down at one of these funky restaurants and interested to order. The waitress asked them what they wished for and they all replied ; ijs ! The girl was surprised by the outburst and asked again. The reply was similar ; IJS !!! But this time very loud and clear because if you speak very loud in Dutch everybody understands… The girl pointed out that they serve coffee and drinks so disappointed the group decided to go for a Espresso latte, which they pronounced with the fattest ‘achterhoek’ accent I have every heard, hilarious!

Moving on, I spotted an old chap with a bike cycling towards a cat that had three legs pointing the right way and one the opposite (no joke) they seemed to know each other. He sat down on a garden bench and the cat jumped next to him and he stroked it gently. Than he took a plastic bag from his bike and served a delicious meal to this cat. This was clearly a widow that has struck up a friendship with a cat that barter strokes for food and some peace. Very touching to see and it clearly underlined that having a stroll is not just healthy it is also very entertaining and offers small painting of people lives that we seem to have forgotten they existed.

To tan, to fry

My favourite place to chill is at Amarea in Bordighera (www.amareaplage.it) It has a fantastic corner of the beach, with great design, good food and lovely staff and a good Wifi connection and therefore a good network opportunity since all the entrepreneurs seem to like the place too.

The owners are ambitious and with only 1,000 euro for one chair per month, it is very cheap… However the place is sold out and frequented by a rare kind of Italian of the crispy variation also known under the name ItalianTan. Since the art of appreciating the beautiful things in life is perfected by the Italians, I have been paying close attention to the visitors.
All seem to have a rather cool life that involves around sun, see and good food. The kids are being managed by the grannies and the husbands are working hard and are only allowed to join them during the weekend, providing of course that he brings his plastic Gold card.

The ladies install themselves on the lounge chair kitted out in designer bathing suits (read small) at around 10 in the morning and discuss world politics and read literature… Well, the last part is not true of course, why bother. They lay on their backs and tan for hours and hours, small breaks are permitted only to eat a salad or drink a cocktail and than back to tanning.

It seems that the Italians have discovered that if you sunbath the whole day your skin will get a colour nobody thought would be possible. They try hard and put in great efforts for hours, days even weeks and some for months. Enabling themselves to get that tan that makes you the cream de la cream of Bordighera. This colour I can only qualify as fried chicken or Imitation Afro Tan. It is basically a colour that gets tattooed on your body will only leave after the summer. It is scary to see that suncream is applied only on kids and even the grannies prefer to get first the lobster look before hitting the afro status.

I am still trying to figure out if this enables them to elevate them to a new status in society and among friends or is it just a trend. I guess that soon they will belong to a very select part of our population and that part is better to be avoided at all cost !

Disneyland is opening in Bordighera

In hectic times you need to relax and what better way to relax in a different land or world. Well, for some this is Disneyland and Bordighera, always on the look out for new attractions, has opened Bordiland. Great, Disneyland in my back garden. They purchased a huge outdoor campaign to promote it and we marketing junkies know how important it is to highlight your USPs or what makes it stand out from the others!

Well, Bordighera has indeed struck on gold…this park is the only and I repeat, the only place where they have a huge toilet ! Amazing, those creative guys at Disney are probably hitting themselves on the head for not having thought of this. A huge toilet! What is more fun than that? I can see the smiles on kids faces already! Can we go to the big toilet pleaaaaaaaaaaaaassssssseeeee?
Next weekend I will get flushed and I am already looking forward to it…

DIY DIE

The moment is there to start to put things together that will be used for the house and this weekend I started to assemble my garden set, lounge chairs and bed. Oh what fun…My tools where not at this house so I need to rely on a Ikea DIY set that costed 5 euros and promised to assist me during long hours of screwing (pardon me the expression)

I managed to drag all the boxes to a place where the sun was not trying to fry me and opened the first boxes that contained 4 chairs and one table. Easy, I can do this! Put my newly found Hip Music Station on and started to read the manual. Hang on, manuals are for losers, I need to get down and dirty without them. First chair progressed to the final stages during which a small plastic circle had to be placed between the arms set. Damn, this was like operating on a snail with a forklift truck! Thanks to my Yoga lessons…I managed to get hold of one part of the chair, the other was held by my teeth, my toes were holding the screw driver and my elbow pushed the plastic thingy in. Excellent, good job Dr Erwin. I put the chair straight away in the garden and took a good look at it. Oh dear, I reversed one of the back panels which made it look a bit strange but strange is good right?

Next three chairs were dealt with in a proper manner, followed by the table and the two lounge chairs. Slowly the house is getting dressed up and start to look like somebody actually wants to move in. Satisfied with the work done I tried to close the door behind me and noticed that all that DIYing had left my hands in a strange shape, like I was permanently holding a screwdriver in my hands. I guess I should stick to powertools and manuals but well, were is the fun in that?

In for a challenge?

We all have seen the programs on television about a fantastic place in the sun. People geared up for a new experience, ready to learn another language and blend in with the locals. Ambitious projects of Bed and Breakfast or even hotels, changing from a hectic life style to a more relaxed and well balanced environment, rich of colour, sunshine and good food.
And than reality hits them and they all become depressed and nothing seem to work anymore. All the positive energy is being transformed into frustration and things just stop going there way.

This is the story I keep hearing when people find out that I purchased a house in Italy that is being constructed. Fair enough, it is not easy but what is? So, is the reality as bad as those programs show us? Well, no it is worse…just kidding. It is challenging that is for sure.
Since months I have been eager to take possession of the house and this has been impossible to a huge number of things. On itself not a problem, I have a temporary roof and I know that the house will be finished, although I have no idea in which year…

Sometimes it is just funny. You have been waiting for two month to get the parquet floor and than it is done in one day. Fantastic! A quick visit to the site than learns you that it has been done but the builders ordered not enough so it is not completely done. Oh by the way, they are out of stock. Challenging indeed. The newly set date to move in is now Wednesday and for me this is just another day. I have had 7 deadlines so far and none has been respected. At least they are constant ;) The question is not when will I move in but more like, if I move in.
Painting has been done by a painter that apart from painting walls has more tattoos than Robert de Niro in CapeFear and wanted to get paid upfront 100%. Yes, we all live in Disneyland and my name is Mickey Mouse.

Next phase will be building the kitchen. Three missed appointments of potentional Bob the Builders and I guess that soon I will purchase a Buta gas set and boil some water for my pasta. The rule is simple, nobody has time and when they have time for you they all think that they are Designers and therefore putting a kitchen together or painting a wall is below their standard hence the price is more expensive. Well, true, I don’t mind saying to my friends that Candy & Candy did my kitchen and Leonardo da Vinci did the painting but lets stay humble and get to work ! I guess I should write a book about it all, sell it online and with the revenue refund the purchase and the ‘designers’… Now there is a challenge!

Party like its ...

Italians are passionated people, whether its food or there culture, Italia is of course the best. But when it comes to football...there cant be anything better on the planet! Last week the Orange army kicked their behinds and the match against a poorly playing France was there ultimo chance.

The streets were empty, bars and restaurants full and all Italian men were extremely nervous. I was being asked to give the Dutch coach a call to do our ' sportive duty' and win our match, which would help them. I called and left a message...
Naturally nobody was watching the Dutch game so the match was watched at home and the Dutch did helped the Italians and won 2-0 and the Italians? Well they got a penalty and a free kick and won 2-0. Were they happy?

Well like they won the whole tournement ! Every car owner took his car straight after the match and kitted it out with a huge Italian flag and for over 2 hours they drove up and down the main street. It was utter madness! A three wheel car had 5 people on the back without shirts on and shouting ITALIA. Everybody was using its klaxon and lights and scooters raced in between with flags bigger than your bedsheets. The Italians gathered all in the town square singing the shortest song in football history...Italia Italia.

Two hours later they decided to call it a day and go home, thank God ! The next day I was being thanked everywhere for winning (and having made the call of course) and the car repair shops seemed to be doing well, ordering new klaxons and lights.
Passion has its price but the Italians football passion has none!

A wise man said...

A lot of things have been said about the Dutch and now with the European Championships it seems that everybody has an opinion about the Dutch and naturally the way we play and they way we give support to our favourite team.
Oranje is our colour and since we are winning its also our team! As long as they play nice attacking football we are happy.

The city of Bern has been hosting the majority of Dutch fans and with only 60,000 (!) orange coloured people it must have been a good time for the restaurants all around.

The most accurate t shirt I noticed in the crowd was this one on the picture.
Now that explains a lot ....

Expect the Unexpected

We live in a strange world where things are changing fast and sometimes we don’t really realise when they have changed and than it might be too late. This makes life challenging but interesting too and we discover things we would normally never have discovered, whether that is in our environment or within ourselves.
Sometimes we are be able to influence them and sometimes they just happen and this can be daily. In essence we should embrace it and not regret it because everything happens for a reason ! Expect the unexpected, because when you do it will change your life.

Reverend ERJB

Arrivederci Genitori

After 5 weeks (!) my parents are moving back to the Netherlands. During those 5 weeks they have discovered that Bordighera and Seborga is a small Nizza, where the people are friendly and the food is super wherever you go. The goal of my parents was to help in the garden and do some painting but due to the delays they were forced to do…nothing, and that turned out not to be so bad! The white wine and the sun seemed to be a good substitute! The second goal of my parents was not to cook during 5 weeks which, unfortunately for them they didn’t manage…two evenings my mum had to be forced to prepare a meal, my sincere apologies mum.

I have to say it was a bit strange to see my parents for such a long time. It has been 10 years since I left Holland and I moved from home at 18. But frankly we had a great time together.

The whole town (well restaurants’, bars and brasseries) were aware of their presence and the impact on the local economy cannot be underestimated.
It seems that my mum has become a pesto addict and my father well… basically seemed to be in a state of ‘always hungry’.

During the holiday they have read a combined total of 20,000 pages, which is an achievement and when the departure was there, 14 bags were ready to be taken home. Those bags were filled with all types of food and beverages to maintain a holiday feeling when back at the HQ.

The return to Holland and apparently the relatively bad weather must be hard but a bit of pesto and vino bianco does wonders.
Well the OrangeEmpire salutes the genitori and hopes to welcome them back soon!

Welcome at the Banque Postal

Having moved away from Nice means that you still need to deal with some admin stuff and this time around it was returning the modem of Alice. Alice had even send me a sticker for free handling so this shouldn’t take a long time…
To avoid silly postal services I went straight to the HQ of La Poste (now privatised) and joined the line with my modem in my hands. The lady behind the desk looked at me and asked what I wanted. Well, a box to send the modem back please. Sorry we can give you that.

Pardon? Nope, you have a free sticker from Alice so we cannot sell you a box. I try to understand the logic but at this stage I am not getting it. Ok, I will buy a box, we tape it with brown tape so it become an ordinary box and than send it. Sorry, cant do it and pls leave cos you are stopping the line from advancing.
I left the post office looking for a shop to buy a parcel but went instead to the local pharmacy, explained my grief and she handed me a small box perfect fro me. Excellent, I walk back, get in line and with a small I am back ! Sir, your box is not closed. I know that so please give me some tape and I will do it. Sir, we are a post service not a wrapping department. Damn, I am getting a bit angry now. So, you are telling me that you don’t have any tape in the whole HQ?

Indeed sir and please move away from the line. What the F… Again I leave the place now contemplating to buy a gun… I head to the first little sandwich shop and ask if they have some tape, I will pay anything for it ! The lady laughs and laughs even louder when I explain my adventure. I close the box and bought a coca to thank her. Now back in the line I am sure to beat them. Strangely enough the two desks are open but the lady that talked to me doesn’t want to do this anymore and the other one is walking (well snails go quicker) behind his desk and returns 5 minutes later, puffing and staring at me like I was dressed in Orange and just kicked Henry in the …. He looks at the parcel and says, sorry it doesn’t fit under the window.

What? Did I just deliver the biggest parcel in France?? I points at a special door that opens and I need to slide it in. I ask him what to do with the stickers and he puffs a little more and points at the sliding door. I carefully put it in there. He grabs it, stick the sticker on it and whacks it over his shoulder in a box. Just under one minute. I ask him if this is it, do I need to sign, pay or do whatever they want me to do? Nope, I need to move along cos I am blocking the line…La Poste, to be avoided at all costs!

Orange 11 give football lessons

The European championships have started and on Monday the Dutch were playing the Italian, current World champions. Dressed up in Orange we headed to the local pub to be welcomed with laughter and free drinks cos Marco van Basten still makes the Italian like the Dutch.

The match started off in good spirit and we were all surprised by the free flowing play of the orange army (and of course the 30,000 supporters turning Bern into a Dutch town) and the difficulties they were causing the solid Italians. With lots of screaming and gestures the match was being followed by about 50 people in a tiny bar that was heating up every minute.
Than Holland scored (with a debatable goal) and the Italian were not happy, but we were !

The game progressed and the Italians were getting more and more fired up until Sneijder kicked from close range a beautiful goal behind Buffon. Tears were getting visible and all of a sudden those orange dressed supporters were less fun, this means war!
During the break, the bar served drinks on a table outside and the Italians compliment the us on the display of the orange 11 and told us there favourite Holland moment. It is incredible but everywhere I have been in the world somebody seems to know Dutch players and the way we play. We on the other hand couldn’t believe the performance, being Dutch means we are never satisfied with the way the Dutch team plays and the number of goals or the defensive play but today…it seems to be all ok!

The second half was a closer call, since the Italians decided to attack. The entry of Del Piero was greeted with huge cheers in the pub, Torino (Juventus) is close to Bordighera and very popular. He was straight away dangerous and the Italians were getting back their confidence.
But Gio van B, crushed their dreams and made it 3 : 0 for the Dutch!!!
The supporters of Italian left the pub and the streets were crowded again with people returning to their houses. The night belonged to the Dutch and the sky turned Orange.

Moving yet again

Last weekend was moving weekend with the Bleu friend and my parents and I started to pack things at 9.30 in the morning after an inspirational cup of coffee and a sandwich. We loaded the blue friend up and noticed that the weather forecast was wrong again and granted us a sunshine and soon many pearls of sweat...
It still amazes me each time that when you actually start packing your whole life is literally in your hands and they are really full!

In order to get it all done asap we decided on clear roles. My mum would be logistic manager and find creative ways of making moving life easier. (basically using all types of transport) My dad was the Organiser, making sure that all was well coordinated and packed and put in the right areas. I was the donkey ... I drove the van and carried the heavy boxes. Quiet a sight the three of us in the van in the front racing through Bordighera to Seborga.

We managed to get it all sorted (more or less) before 22.00 in the evening, we an exhausted team sitting at the table eating a pizza and showing eachothers blues.
The Bos Inc managed to get it all done and still share a pizza at the end of the day...
If that is not the right family spirit than I dont know what is ! Big thanks to the oldies did proof that being old is just a state of mind.

My blue friend

When I left Nice at the beginning of Nice I rented a little van via Locauto at a good price. For this weekend I need to do the same however I am no longer in Nice so I need to find a rental company that provides the same service.

A quick search on the internet learned that Maggiore is the rental agent and they are based in Sanremo. Great, not too far. Even better all can be booked on the internet. Registration on the site, selection of the van, the right pick up and drop off times, click to confirm... Error message. This van is not available. Merde, I select the other ones and each van is not available, which either means they are very successful or their system sucks. Frankly, I believe the later part.

A quick call to them learned me that I wasnt wrong. All are available but the system doesnt allow vans to be hired through the internet. Basically you can go through the complete procedure but at the end you can confirm. I wanted to say that it might be better to indicate that straight but didnt bother.

I confirmed my booked and the guy replied; thank you for booking at Amico Blu. Excuse me? Yes, the van rental part is called like that.

Right, so Saturday I will be driving my Blue Friend to the heights of Seborga, a real adventure.

Headache V1.0 for Wii?

Yesterday and today I am at war with a splitting headache and sofar the headache is winning. I tend not to take to quickly any form of medication but I have been drinking the 1000mg dose as water. The headache has taken away the desire for coffee, which is strange cos generally you will get an headache if you dont take any, being slightly addicted ...

But when you sit behind your desk and dont move too much it is fine. However when you start picking up pieces of paper, running from left to right, taking and making calls, the effects feel like a Wii overdose.
Movements is great but while your brain is trying to leave its shelter it enjoyed so long, it becomes a bit more annoying.
This sounds indeed a bit like complaining but luckily I am hardly ever ill so maybe it was just a little test to see if I can cope. And men generally have a great pain
threshold...

So, I can honestly say, there wont be lost of Wii-ing at this stage and I think that the new Wii fit wont help either. That is a Wii bit annoying but I am sure it will be all over tomorrow.

Parents Holiday Facts

My family asked me if my parents are ok in this new part of the world... well I can confirm a number of things and add some interesting facts !

Reading books is fun, even more with over 300 pages.
Sun is the preferred weather for holidays
At their age you dont cook anymore you go to a restaurant, everyday!
Small trips are ok, but dont overdo it.
White wine is healthy.
Cookies, chocolate, crisps and panini's are yummy.
An espresso comes in varies forms and shapes, let's try them all.
Watching sport is fun, certainly with 50 village men in a pub.
The bed is so comfortable it should be used for lots of sleeping.
Shopping for groceries is fun and cheap.
Being not in Holland is great but why does Elma make headlines now?

Well, you get the point, there are having a good time and Bordighera for them is like a small Nice but more friendly with lots of good restaurants at good prices.
I guess they will never leave...

Flower Powerless

Yesterday the Bos family opted for a trp to Imperia to check out a famous flower decoration parade. This was big so we better take the train. In the whole of Bordighera there are only nice people the only not nice one is sitting behind a big window selling train tickets. First attempts we got two tickets for Genoa one way...and many no capito's. The three people standing in front of her asking for three tickets seemed a hard one.

Next phase taking the train, not easy cos all indicated trains work but not on a bank holiday or Saturday or when it rains or ...well you get it.
Finally we arrived at Impera at a little train station with no bus in sight we decided to walk. There was not a flower in sight and I started to worry. We entered the first bar to ask the lady who had never heard of the festival and mentioned that there is a second Imperia town 3 km further on. Interesting. We decided not to give up and than at least have a look at the dome. We struggled up the hill and arrived at the dome which was massive and very nicely decorated, worth the little walk.
A quick stop to get a lunch in a bar that was used to play cards or play slot machines eg LOTS of noise but fun.

Just before we left, my father gave a last attempts to get the info on the flowers and he came back with a smile, 200 meters from the bar was the start. Well that is a good surprise BUT the owner told us that they have started the work on it for tomorrow morning, about 50 meters but only 1 meter was actually done. A builders deja vu feeling came across me...

When we finally reached the place, plenty of women were decorating drawings on the floor with cut up flowers and different types of powder, legal stuff of course.
Interesting but not so interesting as we thought.
We took a close look at the 1 meter and discovered the tiny city further and decided to head back to see if we got catch a train.
Ours was at 18.35 but funnily enough we arrived at 17.25 and there was one at 17.41 although nowhere indicated.
It seems that the world of trains and flowers is still a mystery to us...

Flappy strikes back

Yesterday evening was of course the biggest night of the year in terms of the Champions league football final in Moscow.
For the first time two English team that reach the final and battle it out for the cup with the big ears. Unfortunately due to some business commitments I didn’t manage to see the match but I was lucky when at the 90th minute the score was 1-1 and 30 minutes needed to be added to decide the winner. Chelsea was of course the ‘local’ favourite thanks to the cheque book of uncle Roman (800 million euro spent) and Man United the international favourite (and they only spent 100 million).

The English fighting spirit was definitely present, although the majority of the team is cover a multitude of countries. I don’t really favour any of the teams (Ajax is my team although I now tend to be shy about mentioning that) but ManU had a slight preference for me simple because of Flappy ! Who? Flappy van der Sar, the Dutch goal keeper of ManU and previous winner with …Ajax. This old windmill is capable of keeping the ball out of the goal just by waving his ears and he is a nice guy.

So I did place my bet prior to the match and I predicted 1-1, overtime and penalties and ManU as the final winner. I placed the huge amount of 5 euros on it and ordered a Panini cos diner was forgotten a bit. In a thrilling final where the rain was pouring down, the English supporters drank all the booze available on the Red Square, it looked like it would be heading to penalties and THAT would be the best time for Flappy to sign!

Indeed, Erwin Hiddink was not wrong and penalties were taken with ooooppss Ronaldo missing for ManU, pretty strange after having scored 41 goals this season but thanks for the additional excitement. Than Terry of Chelsea thought it was nice to slide before kicking and things were tied again. Now it is one after the other and the first person to miss will loose it all, what a poetic justice…

And and, FLAPPY managed to grab hold of the very simpatico (not) Anelka and It was all over ! Flappy strikes again and he will be happy to get hold of a trophy that has even bigger ears than his !

Elma Holmes...

After almost 15 years and two innocent people jailed my little sister has just solved the biggest crime story in the region ! Ok, she had a little help from some blue wearing officers (no smurfs) and this morning they arrested the suspect and this afternoon, Elma took the stand. Organising the press conference, introducing the case to the journalist and even a meeting with Holland biggest crime fighter Peter R de Vries. The police has never looked so smart !
Soon there will be an Elma fanclub and I am looking forward to see her pushing that moustache...congrats little sis!

Check it out here

Eggs are creative too

At JuniorSenior we are always on the look out for new things, fun things, interesting things, basically things that make you say; cool ! fun ! nice ! Of course the majority comes from inside our company ;) but there are some other agencies that are taking up the challenges and this example is one I picked up recently at Sony and it is visually very strong and doesn’t need a lot to make its message clear, simple and well thought.

And a good message, we all need to relax now and than.

Delivery time, Peruvian style

Yesterday morning at 10.00 o’clock I received the long awaited delivery of the kitchen and many other stuff that I ordered in Genova. Unfortunately the delays of the work have made the access road rather Paris-Dakar and sliding down doesn’t seem to be an option, so you can imagine that I was slightly worried… A huge truck arrived and three tiny men got out of it.
Two looking like they played the flute in the street as part of the Peruvian whistle blowers that for long have graced our streets. Ooops, this looks like it will be difficult and I got even more worried when I showed them the access road and where it needed to be installed. They started straight to light a cigarette and discuss this among each other.

Than they opened the lift door and the started to unpack thing and the 2,50m fridge combination was staring like Goliath at two little Davids… But than my eyes almost popped out when the tiniest man turned its back on the fridge and carried, running down the steep access road, into the house!!! I couldn’t believe my eyes! They must have been doing Sherpa tracking in the mountains cos these two guys were unbelievable, asking each time to put more and more on their shoulders, head or back. Within 2 hours a huge trucks was empty and in between they cracked a number of jokes and managed to make several calls.

I was really impressed because they also put everything in the right place, had all the paper work sorted out and were never complaining about the quantity the weather of the work. (try that with the guys at the SNCF in France)

At the end I was really pleased that they did so much work and so quick in a situation that was easy for them and a little bonus was in order.
Next time when I will see them playing their bamboo pipes I will give them an extra euro and might even go for the cd…although, I shouldn’t stretch it too far…

Orange is everywhere

The European Championships are approaching and some people might start to notice that The Netherlands is quickly turning into a place of Orange. Houses are being painted orange, cars will be kitted out with orange features, the mayonnaise is produced orange and with thanks to my parents…M&Ms are adopting the same strategy and have produced oranges ones.

Taste wise there is of course no difference and they still don’t melt in your hand, but when you crock one in your mouth you can almost hear 40,000 people shouting and singing.

As with every football championship we have the best players and the best coach and we will as usual put in a bad performance and loose on penalties but I am happy cos those M&Ms are keeping the dream alive and my stomach filled. Oufff I just finished 300 grams and it feels a bit strange, my mum thinks that I will soon turn orange… A bit early bit it might come in handy soon…

Bordighera is da bomb!

Today there is a huge party in Bordighera. The reason? I have no clue but they are not kidding when they are building a party area… This morning they have taken all the ammunition that was left over from the Iraq war and installed it on the beach front. A number of serious looking chaps have been building strange looking pipes and boxes and another number of serious looking policemen have been keeping an eye on things.

Obviously wearing the full uniform that must be 50 degrees by now and drinking an espresso. It looks like tonite they will put in a good effort to clean Bordighera right off the map and at least get rid of the ‘weapons’ that obviously have been laying around in somebody’s garage and he was cleaning up or something. They will set light to it at 22.00 tonite and that could be my last blog…if I will be too close. It has been a pleasure…

The garden pimp feature of the year

The new garden needs to get designed and for this the use of Bos Inc has flown in. They have already provide me with the kit to create enough havoc in the garden to last me a while…

But I clearly instructed them to provide me with something that is memorable and that is a real feature in the garden. They have gone through great lengths and found this rather exquisite garden gnome to pimp my garden. Have a look at the picture and you will agree with me, this gnome rules! He even has a sign for deaf people and has a macho way of being a gnome, you can almost hear him saying, hey, what’s up !
He even provides a source of light when soaking up the sun and is therefore environmental friendly too!

I personally think that I am off for a great garden and that this part of the pimping exercise is a real hit. Having said so… when we had a closer look, his cool arm dropped off…sheer gnome pressure.

Garden Survival Kit

My parents have arrived with about 60 kilos of additional weight to them. This additional weight was part of the present for the new house and involved several stages of revealing it.

The initial stage covered all the tool to dig up the earth, the second stage was more subtle, smaller version of the first stage. The follow stage was a more useful stage, 20 kilo of earth and 20 kilo of some other type. These bags were obviously only bursting open when they arrived on my kitchen floor. Than the decorative stage, nice baskets and a tray to pimp the garden even further. Final stages, plants ! Yes, even that came from Holland. Strawberries and lavender and some other plants with strange leafs…

All has been professionally been put together and ready to get shipped over to its new ground.
The next phase will be designing the garden area and that will be a bit more difficult but well if you are be able to take half the garden center with you from Holland, I guess that this is just a little challenge.

Where to watch the curling

My parents are soon arriving to assist with the painting work and installing bits and pieces in the house... Well, that was the plan! However the Italian Builder Gods have decided against this and another delay has made me prolong my stay at the rented apartment and even added a second for my parents. (this with lots of help from the real estate agent) The delay was quiet obvious since the access road was not even ready and the toilet was fixed, or bearly. After a heated discussion between the constructor and the real estate agent (I was not present to see this soap opera)

I got the report that said that they thought the house was ready to move in... The real estate had a right fit and kicked some builders behind to come to some kind of agreement. This agreement is still to be confirmed and the new date will be the 1st of June. Although the builder believes that it will be most likely the 19th of May. This would be good but still a bit late. As noted in my dads email, he was thinking that I invested in a big LCD screen and that he could watch a huge variety of sportevents from Seborga. With the Giro d'Italia, F1 in Monaco, the champions league final and of course the World Champion Curling in Kazachstan...

A right shame of course! Even worse, he doesnt know that the rented apartment doesnt even has a television and he therefore is obliged to visit the region, dressed up in white trainers and a hawaii shirt and taking pictures of cultural things.
Mr Bos has to become a tourist instead of a sportist. Well, I hope that the house will be finished soon before the European Championships football start, I guess you need to have goals in your life...

Toilet not Yet

One of the most remarkable things missing in the house for the moment is the toilet and sink. Two elements that really are essential to increase the comfort of your own home and although (as you can see) they were delivered a while ago, nobody seemed to be bothered by them and certainly there was no intention to actually nail them to the wall. I was willing to give it a go but after a quick look in my Marketing books, I was not be able to find anything that relates to toilets.

But surprise surprise when I paid yet another visit to the site at around 20.30 in the evening. There was just about enough light (natural light) to notice that the bathroom had been pimped with a sink and a toilet on the first floor and a toilet and bidet on the second. Fantastic, they only thing was that it had not been hooked up properly nor fixed to the wall, which I reckon will take yet another 10 days or so... But it is funny to notice that the simple sight of a toilet can make you happy!
Now I just have to hope that I dont feel the urge to....because that would complete things a bit further.
Hurayyyyyyy for toilets !

Artful Mess

When you are on site it is quiet annoying to see what is wasted. The number of metal frames, tiles, wooden cases, plastic bits and pieces are scattered across the ground. Some will end up in the ground being buried by the builders ( I spotted this before and manage to get 25 kilos of metal frames removed afterwards) and others will be taken away and dumped somewhere.

I still find it strange that there isn’t a company that deals with these things and takes care of builders waste. ( I am not talking about the numerous beer bottles) The environment is mostly likely to suffer from this and I don’t like to stick my hands in the ground while gardening and ending up with my hands sliced by some left over parts. Since getting rid of the waste is expensive it is hard to actually convince them to do so. On the other hand, have a look at the photo and see how arty cut off terraces tiles are ! I am sure that Damian Hirst would be able to sell this at a top price and so solving the cost problem of getting rid of waste in a proper way.

Paint Faint

When your house is being built and the only thing your are adding to it is basically …Money, it is nice that you get the opportunity to do some else and painting is just that.With 30 liters of paint for the 1st and 2nd layer, plenty of brushes and other useful tools, the painting process started. The worst possible start is always the ceiling, that is tough to do and the 1st layer always seems to take forever. But with a fresh summer breeze and plenty of non smelly paint the ceiling got his first layer as well as the walls. Rewarding to see it being virgin white and with the left over paint I walked upstairs to do the staircase and the bathroom.

Sometimes it is good that the parquet floor and toilets are still missing, so that I can mess around with the paint without causing any problems. Although the bath room was challenging with the new tiles and bath, you need to be an acrobat to paint.
About 40m2 is done now which means that there is still plenty to do and it became clear that the living room and its ceiling will be the worst thing to do. The sheer size makes it a tough job that will take an amateur painter as moi very long so I guess this needs to be outsourced to somebody that actually knows what he is doing.
It is nice to contribute to the finalisation of the house but in the end…paying somebody to get it all sorted isn’t a bit thing either.

Sherlock Builder

Normally I was allowed to move in on Saturday providing that the exterior of the house still needed to be finished and I was therefore very happy to accept my delivery of electronic appliances on Saturday, after hours of waiting.
In the meantime I continued to scrutinize the house for the progress and things they have put in place since the last visit. Of course they know me by now and know ways to cover up but this time I came prepared! I dressed up as filter unit (as you can see in the picture) to blend in with the building equipment and to Sherlock my way through the two floors.

That morning it was even clearer than in my denial phase…I would not be able to set foot in this for a number of weeks. With no parquet floor, fuse boxes hanging out of their sockets, no actual electricity, hot or cold running water and no inside painting and this was just the inside.

The outside access was now a big long grave that had welcomed a number of funky coloured tubes but still not sure for what. The toilet etc had arrived but was still sealed on a pallet in front of the house. I got in the car and drove back to prepare myself for the Abfab wedding.

When I arrived home I got a text message of the real estate guy confirming my worst fear…the builder has come clean and admits that they are well behind schedule and that the 1st of May isn’t possible and that the 1st of June is more likely. Fantastic… with deliveries scheduled, parents flying in, painting in full progress etc I now need to be more patient again.
On Monday I will meet with the builders to get compensation for the 1 month rent and I will ask them to paint the inside too, which seems fair because they had confirmed a fortnight ago that it all would be fine. Let’s wait and see what will be the next surprise.

I guess that the disappointed only is stronger when you can actually see the finish line but in any case the line has not disappeared it merely moved a bit further.

Wash up Man

With Superman, Spiderman, Batman and of late Ironman, there are a lot of superheroes around that are helpful! However the majority are just men dressing up in silly outfits and trying to save the world. But the AsterCorperation has come up with a complete new superhero that is useful and can be purchased in every respectable Supermarket.

It is the Wash Up Man ! A powerful Michelin like man with a pointy hat that when you squeeze him the right way, will produce just about enough of green liquid that does marvels when it is mixed with water. I tried it on plates, knifes, cups and saucers and the result is amazing. Finally a Superhero that I can appreciate and that delivers results ! And that for a price inferior of that of a ticket to see Ironman! Wash Up Man coming to a sink near you soon!

Operation Goat

Creative people have creative ideas and when you need to get a present for creative people we tend to go through great lengths to be creative too. At JuniorSenior this is no different and when we needed to decide to get AbFab a wedding present, the team decided that this should be two goats. Yes very creative indeed :)

So, just a couple of days before the big day I receive an email explaining me the decision making process and the end result and basically I was voted to find them the goats. Well, as everybody know, the Goat d’Azur is very well known for its goat population and there are Goat ‘r Us Shops on every corner of every street…
First stage, Goat Google. Results quiet limited and very often not really related to the issues, although the closest I could find was Goat Kebab, not really the shape nor form I was planning on giving them.

The second stage, getting the info from experts, on the phone, per email etc
A kennel had two but didn’t wanted to sell them. Another person might sell them to me but I needed to drive for 4 hours and wasn’t sure that they would have the right ones. I mean, they needed to look like the new owners…
I visited all the possible Animaleries on the Cote d’Azur, wearing a suit and asking for goats made people suspicious and on numerous occasions I was given a real Gestapo interrogation.
Be careful because they need to be milked, they will eat everything and destroy your land, the have special needs for food and shelter, be careful that you don’t stress them etc etc.

But still goatless! I was then referred to the Agricultural Cooperative in Antibes that sells to companies and farmers and as everybody told me the last possible option. I parked my car in between some tractors and asked the lady at the reception that let me wait for 10 minutes discussing the program on last nights television. When I explained the problem she has one simple answer, sorry we don’t have those. But my bad luck was about to turn when all of a sudden a strange looking man popped from behind a pair of shelves asking me The question; Are you looking for some goats ? Yes, Sir! Well, I have them! Fantastic, two please. But I wont sell them to you! Oh, that is helpful. The guy (at closer observation) was covered in goats number two and probably cuts his hair while wearing a flowerpot, seemed less of a savour. But he said, I know a place where there is a bulletin board and I think I have seen somebody that wanted to sell goats. Great ! Lets go. We ended up staring at a board with no goat adverts on it but just a Brebis, which I forgot …but is the female sheep. That will do! I called the guy, got the usual 10 Questions to get a pseudo goat and scored 10 out of 10. I was be able to pick them up (with the future owners) and a big cheque cos the supply and demand and the subprime crisis is apparently also hitting hard on the goats market.

Now I hope that the couple will like them, cos otherwise I am obliged to take them myself, although I could make kebab…

Mind the Gap

Soon I will be kicked out of my rented property and need therefore to get everything sorted at the new house. But what is there to be sorted when things are not moving.
Yesterday end of the afternoon, I thought it was sensible to check the status since normally the inside would be finished this coming Friday. When I arrived I noticed how calm it is ... I DONT WANT CALM ! I want to see sweaty workmen (for the record this is no fantasy of mine) working from 7 to 21.00 with 100% dedication!

One gentleman was cutting up the pavement OUTSIDE the house, which could only be qualified as not on the inside so therefore, not essential. I had a talk with him and he was very clear about things, he was ordered to do so and when this was finished he was off on a holiday. Oh jolly. I went inside and noticed that the bathroom was finished apart from the toilet and sink and there was a little hole in the wall. Excuse me? Could you explain the hole please? Si, he finished the wall in the bathroom and fixed one of the shelves and he was proud to underline, that this shelf would never move again. We that might be true but there is a hole on the other side of the wall! That was not his problem, he was not hired to close the hole. But were you hired to create it? That seemed to confuse him a little.

Luckily the real estate agent showed up and noticed the delays and some of the little problems and took photos and wrote a report to the constructor.
It seems that there never is a dull moment when you get your house built but with the idea of being on the street and living in a house without a toilet, sink, hot or cold water and no kitchen...seems to scare me a bit. Oh well, they promised it will be finished at the end of the week...

The Swedish Board Computer

If you are as old as me you will of course remember Knightrider. A curly David Hasselhof driving a black car that has a mind of its own and listens to the name Kitt. This board computer system was revolutionary in the 80s and useful when David wanted to do things that were not allowed, (Michael, Michael,..) Kitt took control and we all lived happily afterwards.

Well, things have moved on and I am the proud owner of a Swedish Board Computer called Knackerbrod or something. This computer supplies with plenty of useful information and often with plenty of completely useless information. 4 weeks ago it decided to indicate that my right head light was not working properly, which I consider useful information. However, have you have tried replacing a headlight? Well you generally end up slicing your hands and spending two entire days to do so and than in the end you head to your local dealer that will do it for you, of course charging you a silly amount of money for it. (nevermind the whole staff taking the piss when you drive off)

Anyway, I decided to be like David and ignore the message. Two weeks later a new message ; Dear Mr Bos we advise you to get your car checked up. I seem to have done a lot of kilometres so useful I guess again but I ignored it again. Knackerbrod wasn’t happy with this and refuses now to display the weather, my CD titles or anything useful that I find really useful. But yesterday Knackerbrod seemed to be pissed off and starts to make even more noises and indicates that now my left light is broken too! This is rather annoying, since that leaves me with not a lot of options and a screen that is filled with message and an angry Knackerbrod.

I guess that I have to visit a car dealer soon and get things repaired cos I remember the Turbo Boost of Kitt and it surely has plenty of other messages hidden in its system. Next time I will buy a Landrover of 1970, that doesn’t have suspension and never breaks down

Miracle jumpers

This weekend the temperature has remained stable and quiet high, which means wearing a pair of jeans and a t-shirt is quiet warm but not too bad. I have, however, noticed that for Italians this is rather different. It is maybe a matter of class but the average Italian man, will show up in a pair of blue trousers with an elegant formal shirt and a jumper in a flashy colour. May I remind you that the temperature is 20 degrees Celsius! When they start to notice that it is quiet hot the will take off their jumper and casual put it around their shoulders. They don’t seem to mind the heat they prefer to suffer in silence and remain stylish.

You have to admire this dedication and as a matter of blending in, I have decided to follow this and become immune for the heat as well. Find myself a blue pair of trousers (D&G of course), some elegant loafers and nice blue tailored shirt and an orange jumper. Fantastic, ready to visit the local beach lounge place and impress the local crowd.

I walked from the door to the gate of the house… and almost died of the heat. There must be something I am doing wrong or they are all equipped with miracle jumpers because I am not be able to walk more than 5 minutes with it. I think I should better stick to drinking espressos and curse in Italian, that works a treat too.

Paint it black..well White

Yesterday on my way to a BCC event I stopped at the Leroy Merlin shop to purchase what I thought would be easy and inexpensive…Paint!
When I arrived at the paint department it was rather obvious that a marketing and or business degree is not really helpful here. I therefore asked helped of an elderly looking lady that smelled like a mix of food and paint. She advised me to go for white paint to cover the first layer and than use an expensive mono-couche that will take care of the imperfection of my walls (are they any…) and takes care of it all for many years to come.

Right ok, so I got one container of paint that would cover 120m2, not enough for me so a second one. Than I needed to add this first layer paint to it as well. For the kitchen and bathroom special paint is required too. But the paint is great but you need to stick it on the wall! I opted for the latest design in hairy brushes, handpicked from the bottom of a wildebeest that was grazing in South Africa and didn’t knew what was coming. Good quality I guess!

Than I need to invest in some plastic to cover the floor, a number of buckets to put the paint in and of course some tape to covers areas where paint isn’t required. Anything I forgot? Ah of course a container of orange paint to be used for an area that needs to be defined yet but you cannot have a house with an orange spot somewhere!

Moving over to the till, I spotted orange seat covers that were reduced in price and me being a sucker for impulse purchases… added this to the list.
When it was time to get the credit card out, I looked surprised at the price, painting is for the rich ! It better be good or at least gets me high while painting.

Got it all in the boot of the car until the last container decided to leave its mark on me and sliced my finger nicely. I wanted white and orange paint NOT red! The lady at the reception desk almost passed out and after the divine intervention of the security guard I was freshly bandaged-up and ready to enjoy an evening with the BCC.

Famous Town makes Headlines

With the keys in my pocket I am surfing the net and ended up at the National Geographic website that has a feature on Seborga ! The little town is still pushing for independance and this attracts a lot of publicity. Underneath you can find the link to the web video and please pay special attention to Mr Ferrari, if you are a frequent reader of my blog you will recognize him from an earlier article AND he is the previous owner of the piece of land my house is built on.

A town of around 350 people making world news is something to watch for :

The link - click here

The Keys to The Casa

Friday morning was the moment during which I would become the proud owner of a new key (and a complete house attached to it) After some delays the moment was finally there. The weather had been rather bad again so I slided down with my Bikkembergs covered in mud ending up in the arms of the constructors. Men in casual chique but wearing big Wellington boots and still managed to look cool. Why didn’t I got some boots? Well, in all honestly I have no idea where you can purchase them and I think I prefer not knowing.

Anyway, the important thing was the key. After a quick tour showing an almost finished bathroom and a working fireplace I got one key and 5 spare ones! Was this a subtle hit that they knew I would be loosing them quickly ? Even better, the keys given were only of the ground floor, the upper level had a set too. So, within 5 minutes I added 2 kilo of key fat to the pocket of my muddy pair of jeans. It didn’t feel bad at all!

I am used to surprises (good or bad) with the house, so I just waited patiently to hear something and I was not disappointed. Good news, within 2 weeks the inside will be finished, Bad news, not sure if the hot water will work. Good news, there are two private parkings for me, Bad news, the inside needs to be painted by moi. Well, I have become sort of immune for these surprise and I guess there are all part of the HOE (House Owning Experience) and it means just that I need a little bit more patience and paint 130m2 of walls.

But the light at the end of the tunnel can now be spotted and although it will be a sort of camping experience for the coming weeks, I soon can call it my house and open the door with my key ! Time is irrelevant …

Kids' Rock

Could this be the CD we all need if we want our kids to rock ? I am sure :) Rock on !

Yes key No Key

Today I was supposed to get the key to mi casa and although I was not expecting any changes to the program, they still surprised me this morning. First a short, face lifted man with heels got elected for a third time as president of Italy (the 65 government since the end of the war!!!) and secondly, an email that explained that I wont get my key today. Damn! Why not, well no reason, c'est comme ca, as the say in good Italian. The builders are advancing but not finished anyway so it is not a big deal but I do like to get my furniture delivered and stored savely.

Well, the constructor understood and offered to do this for 9.00 o'clock on Friday morning. Sounds good to be. Ah just by the way Mr Bos, dont forgot to send us 100.000euro on our account before Friday, that will be handier. Handier? For what ? The weekend?

It seems that money talks and bullshit walks but I guess that this has become a bit Mafia like. After a quick call with the real estate agent it turns out that this is normal and I shouldnt worry ( a phrase I seem to hear rather often lately) and all will be ok for Friday. Well, see about that mister! You dont know my bank ...

Anyway, time is going really fast now and soon the furniture and electronic appliances will be delivered and I need to get it installed and start thinking about how to organise it inside the place. Those are the luxury problems and therefore quiet fun ! I even got excited when I ordered a new lave linge. An aide that is very useful but very boring, so I decided to order one that has a screen that tells me all the info I need to know (and tons I dont) and offers plenty of stupid buttons to keep me busy during the weekend. Ah gadgets ;)

The weather is off...

Its rains and it rains and than there is the sunshine and than the rain again. The weather seems to changing quicker than the Italian government. While working this is not a problem but I am thinking of the those. The builders are awaiting the time when things are dry to lay the parquet floor.

Otherwise I will have the flooring soon on the ceiling if the humidity is too high. However since I spend so much time thinking and writing about gardens it seems that there is a postive effect on my desk. Since a short number of weeks my keyboard has become green and offered its keyboard space to my greens to grow. It is a bit of a hassle to type but so much more environmental friendly and when I feel hungry I just take a bite.

The only thing I dont need to forget is to close Windows because the plants don't like the wind and rain...
It seems that I am never too old to learn new things !

To finish some unfinished business

Tonight at around 19.00 I felt the urge to go and see the construction progress, it was already over a week ago since the last visit. The last couple of days have been rather poor and the rain makes the South look like a grey steam bath. On arrival I walked through the little hole in the fence and got stuck straight away in a mixture of mud and clay. Fantastic to make pots of not really good when you are walking in trainers. I decided to slide down and at the bottom of the little hill, I managed to jump on a bunch of stones to get to the neighbouring house. Via the back door I arrived at mine, where I could admire the beautiful blinds colour Kermit the Frog.

At least when there is a moment in life that I get drunk I will always be able to find back home. I opened the blind and proper doors with locks were smiling towards me. While entering the house I discovered that the door inside have been placed too, light wood colour and the bathroom is progressing too. Downstairs the floor is done too and they even managed to create an extra electricity point for the new kitchen. But when you are 4 days away from getting the key it is clear that living in it is not possible for a little while.

This is a minor set back and I therefore decided to take fate in my own hands and climbed in the little digger machine. At that stage my shoes were already close to 4 kilo each, thanks to the mud and I sat down to take control… Well, I have noticed that it rained the last couple of days but I didn’t noticed that the chair was completely soaked hence my happy face on the picture. I guess its better to leave these things to the experts and just be a little patient. It is progressing and it will be great soon !

Angry Old Grannies

Parkings are places that have no surprises to me anymore. From meeting to meeting, a parking is an essential place and I some are more car friendly than others.
Clearly it is better to have a small car and those newly painted areas are great but not when it rains and you slide down. The most difficult thing is to find a parking spot that is big enough cos the majority of people seem to have difficulties parking.
Today however I was amazed to witness two grannies creating terror in aisle 3B.

My attention was drawn to them when they arrived, shouting and cursing about the parking space size and the big BMW that was almost touching their little Suzuki. The circled around the BMW and kicked his tires! Than one of them tried to reverse and get the car out (she had about 2 meters of space) with the engine growling and the car creeping back and forward, she stopped the engine and continued cursing the BMW.
The second lady agreed with the first that the BMW was guilty of a serious parking crime and she got out the key ...and put her signature on the back of the car. My eyes were popping out !

Did I really witness this. Even worse, the old lady noticed that I saw it and when I passed by she shouted that he deserved it and gave me a mean look. I was confused, should I laugh or say something? Well, I decided to move on, to scared to get beating up by these Hells Angels Grannies.

They might have hidden walking sticks or rollators to beat the holy Moses out of me.
Parkings will never be the same again...