Welcome at the Banque Postal

Having moved away from Nice means that you still need to deal with some admin stuff and this time around it was returning the modem of Alice. Alice had even send me a sticker for free handling so this shouldn’t take a long time…
To avoid silly postal services I went straight to the HQ of La Poste (now privatised) and joined the line with my modem in my hands. The lady behind the desk looked at me and asked what I wanted. Well, a box to send the modem back please. Sorry we can give you that.

Pardon? Nope, you have a free sticker from Alice so we cannot sell you a box. I try to understand the logic but at this stage I am not getting it. Ok, I will buy a box, we tape it with brown tape so it become an ordinary box and than send it. Sorry, cant do it and pls leave cos you are stopping the line from advancing.
I left the post office looking for a shop to buy a parcel but went instead to the local pharmacy, explained my grief and she handed me a small box perfect fro me. Excellent, I walk back, get in line and with a small I am back ! Sir, your box is not closed. I know that so please give me some tape and I will do it. Sir, we are a post service not a wrapping department. Damn, I am getting a bit angry now. So, you are telling me that you don’t have any tape in the whole HQ?

Indeed sir and please move away from the line. What the F… Again I leave the place now contemplating to buy a gun… I head to the first little sandwich shop and ask if they have some tape, I will pay anything for it ! The lady laughs and laughs even louder when I explain my adventure. I close the box and bought a coca to thank her. Now back in the line I am sure to beat them. Strangely enough the two desks are open but the lady that talked to me doesn’t want to do this anymore and the other one is walking (well snails go quicker) behind his desk and returns 5 minutes later, puffing and staring at me like I was dressed in Orange and just kicked Henry in the …. He looks at the parcel and says, sorry it doesn’t fit under the window.

What? Did I just deliver the biggest parcel in France?? I points at a special door that opens and I need to slide it in. I ask him what to do with the stickers and he puffs a little more and points at the sliding door. I carefully put it in there. He grabs it, stick the sticker on it and whacks it over his shoulder in a box. Just under one minute. I ask him if this is it, do I need to sign, pay or do whatever they want me to do? Nope, I need to move along cos I am blocking the line…La Poste, to be avoided at all costs!