OrangeEmpire

Italia is taking a rest and I get tire(d)

2008-08-16T18:12:00.001+02:00

July and August are obviously months in which there is an economic slowdown and the ‘only’ business is tourism and in Italia this is no different. Although there is a tiny thing that has angered me slightly… The 2nd and 3rd week of August are considered to be a must take holiday period with some weird consequences. In need of petrol? Well virtually all of them are closed. Needed to go for a check up of your car? All closed. Dryclean ? Closed. The list is long and can be quite annoying if you are in need of the above mentioned services and lucky me… I was! My front tire was flat and turned out to be more used than Paris Hilton…

When I finally found a shop that could repair them he old guy showed me the tire and gave me a lesson is safety and recommended to replace both of them at only 350 euro a bargain…

But Italia is Italia, prices are to be negotiated and two for the price of one seemed to be a fair deal. But looking back it was very impressed that I still managed to do 185km with them on a sandy road just behind the house. But was is more surprising it that I was be able to locate a shop open and willing to take the business.

The old guy smiled friendly and fixed my door as well. I like to be ripped off with a smile even during the Italian holiday season.

Get a grip

2008-08-16T17:59:00.001+02:00

It has been awhile since the kitchen was finished by two professional Bob the Builders. However they didn’t put the handles on all the doors and drawers so opening them up was a bit of a challenge. Weekends seem therefore to be the most appropriate time to test my DIY skills and today’s challenge was of Olympic proposition; 20 handles. Key to succeed is as always the tools. After having tried a number of times with different machines and kits it was clear that my arsenal was not sufficient to conquer this war. A quick visit to the DIY store, where I stocked up on Wood, Metal and Cement drill bits. Now capable of making a hole in virtually any surface in my house I headed home to test it all.

With some precise measuring, I started to put the first handle in one of the drawers. At first all was normal until there was a release of smoke and it looked like I started to torch my kitchen. The lacque layer is obviously not appreciating the sudden drill action and is defending its territory. But after a little while I managed to get two holes ready to fix the first of many handles to come. The exercise, although long, isnt very difficult until I met with some proper resistance from the dishwasher. The dishwasher has been integrated and needed special care, the over confident me un screwed two panels and the whole electronic wiring dropped on my kitchen floor. Oops, this was not to open and I started to refit it all which I succeeded in doing after a struggle of 30 minutes with a flexible panel that refused to be put back.

Next challenge the fridge that has a special sliding door system that needed to come off too.
First part of the door was easy but the second part was more difficult since I wanted to continue the symmetry of the other handles. Obviously the system was exactly there were the handle needed to be fixed. With some MacGyver like skills I managed to create something that does both now. The rest was pretty straight forward and I managed to finish the whole kitchen in …bronze medal time. Next phase will be the bathroom but so far I have used my complete collection of drill bits and nothing has managed to get a hole in the tiles.

I guess a visit to the DIY will be needed to continue to transform my house in Dutch gatenkaas.

One week and still alive or...

2008-08-06T19:07:00.000+02:00

It has been one week since the move and there are issues… well one big issue; mosquitoes and loads of them. The best thing about living in the South is basically being outside and still doing the things you need to do. Having breakfast, a coffee or lunch but also working and reading are all done outside in a quiet and warm environment. However towards the evening, there is an army of flying things that slowly takes over the place and starts eagerly kissing every human that is in its way. The results are interesting, legs and arms looking like a raisin bread gone wrong and the itching arrrrhhhhhhh. So the time has come that the new landlord starts to take control and shows them who is Boss!

A quick visit to the DIY store to stock the ammunition to start the battle. Two socket plugs with 24x7 lethal smell (whatever that means), two bottles of liquid citronella to fill up to burners, a can of spray and those funny circles that you burn slow also in citronella.

First evening all is put into action with mixed results. My philosophy is simple; you create something that smell bad to mosquitoes, they than will close their nose with one hand and obviously flying with one arm is impossible and they crash and burn, simple as that.
Turns out that some wear protective head gear or something cos the quantity has been reduced but the few still flying around seem to be ex Tour de France flyers (eg EPO filled) and strong as any Citronella tool.

I need to find an alternative tool that will win me the battle before I turn into a spotty looking guy with an bizarre itch…

Miracle of the slow kind

2008-07-31T15:57:00.000+02:00

Tuesday evening at 22.00 I put my new key in the new house to start after only 100 days of extended delays, a multitude of problems, the ‘dream’ has finally become reality.

Looking at the dust inside, it clearly shows that 100 days have gone past without Mr Bosco being present but who cares?? The most important thing was and is the actual possession of the place and that means camping inside and taking for granted a number of minor obstacles that, to be honest, are all acceptable now !

The first evening, I installed a big lounge chair (or bed) in the middle of the garden to observe the stars and enjoy the silence. This is really a haven of peace and it is fantastic to just lay down and finally and realise that …Yes it was and is all worth it !

Update 2

2008-07-27T18:33:00.000+02:00

Although positively certain that this weekend would be the weekend of moving in I arrived on Saturday morning with lots of stuff in the car at the entrance lane to the house.
I have learned from the past so I decided first to check out the status before the actual moving of stuff to the house. When I approached the house I heard a strange buzzing sound coming out of the house. Intrigued I opened the door and I spotted a very sweaty imitation of Father Xmas with a huge machine that was sanding the parquet floor AGAIN. Hang on, this was already done and the next phase, putting a protective layer on the floor too. A simple Italian French conversation didn’t really made thing clearer so a call to the agent was next. He was not aware of it and he was straight on the phone with the builders. Their feedback was disappointing again, they were not happy with the previous result and decided to redo the work.

Quality control is great but why leaving this for 5 days and starting it when I am suppose to move in??? The miracle world of builders remains a mystery for me and it was back to the ‘old’ apartment for yet a extended stay. The next day will be this coming Monday evening or Tuesday evening…well, I want to believe it but would this be smart?

The finish line is close but some builder is having fun repainting the line each time I am about to cross it, next time I will jump!

Update 1

2008-07-27T18:32:00.000+02:00

Well it turns out that it is possible to become the president of Italia…Just got the confirmation for the Super Cup lottery tickets and I have obtained 2 ! The chance was very small or even microscopic but it meant that there was still a chance and two tickets are now in the pocket.
Flappy here we come !

Grandma to the rescue

2008-07-25T17:22:00.002+02:00

In France there is a program that is called Super nanny with a simple concept; your household (with kids) is being observed and analysed before the tough looking lady announces a revolution and makes your household a model one.
In Italy there is an equivalent that is called SOS TATA, which is more traditional, with the lady wearing a silly blue dress with polka dots and having a face like a sour plum.

It made me curious, are Italian households as bad as the French ones?
Well Super Tata moves in with a successful business couple that has three kids. The house is big and the decoration is sort of ok and they seem quiet well balanced at first sight.
Meet the kids…three little men that are ready to show Super Tata that hell is created on earth.

The first two days, Super Tata observes and after 15 minutes her eyes are dropping on the floor. The two oldest lads have gone to the garden, where they both take a pee against dads Mercedes, before they move on to hose the little garden fence. This fence is particularly annoying after the pee session and they decide to kick it like there is no tomorrow. Having successfully terminated this job they move on to mums area. A place of peace and flowers, mum loves it and the boys too. After 15 minutes, they have managed to move all that is planted from right to the left side. At this stage mum walks in and is shocked! She talks to the boys…ragazzi this is not nice! Not nice? You are kidding me ! This is fun ! Inside the house diner is ready and they all sit at the table, little man 1 drops his pasta in the lap of his younger sister and little man 2 shoves his brothers head in the sauce. Mum and dad are not happy but what to do? Super Tata is lost, having an heart attack and frankly without a solution.

When the roles are being reversed and she takes over, she has the help of a Sos Tata number too and without real conviction starts to put down the rules.
The list is long, really long and stickers are handed to all kids for a job well done.

First this seems interesting to them but trying to smash the washing machine door, using the electric screw driver to drill holes in the walls and taking down the books from the shelves is much more fun although there are no stickers to be gained.
These boys are fantastic, every time I think they will become angels and they surprise everybody again and provide the parents with yet another challenge.
Super Tata is hopeless and although be able to score some points, she realised that these boys are destined for organised crime and she is being taking away by the ambulance.

Super Cup challenge

2008-07-25T17:19:00.000+02:00

Getting tickets to the Super Cub in Monaco this year has become more attractive with some great players and certainly a number of great Dutch players. I was looking forward to attend it. At the front desk of the Stade Louis II, Jacques welcomed me, obviously bored out of his head but in a good mood. Hello bonjour, etc , 4 tickets please for the Supercup. Ah monsieur, are you a member of the ASM FC ?

Non, but I don’t mind being one. No no, you need to be a three year member, have green eyes, walk the 100meter under 15 seconds and drive a black car with green stripes….in other words, impossible! He continued, we only sell 200 tickets and they are for those previously mentioned crowd the rest ( something like 15.000) is for sponsors, players, official and oh yes some fans. Ok, cool, but how? Well, very simple you go to the website of the Eufa and register for a lottery of tickets, but only 2 tickets and to be honest I the chance of getting any is very very small.
I leave the place and log on to the website, after a frantic search I find the lottery and register, with credit card details and lots of other details I enter.

The results will be send by email before the 31st of July. Fingers crossed but honestly… becoming president of Italy seems easier.

Will it happen this weekend?

2008-07-25T17:17:00.000+02:00

That is the one million euro question of this week. Will I finally move in after a tremendous amount of delays and problems that tested both my patience as well as my positive state of mind. But things are heading in the right direction. With the kitchen almost finished, the parquet floor ready and the walls will be touched upon a final time by the skilled hands of Leonardo Rhino the painter. Of course there are some major infrastructural issues outside the house but that should be resolved by mid August. Deadlines are short of, non interesting cos generally nobody sticks to it.

After for instance 3 failed meetings for the plumper, he finally showed up at 18.00 and had a quick look at it all and than notified me that he didn’t have the proper tools with him so he was off again… Fantastic, well matey just finish first the things for which you don’t need any tools and come back before the weekend or else… Of course he was very impressed by this… But in the end he managed to do a number of things that were useful. I have a good feeling about this weekend so I guess it will happen !

Than it just leaves me to create a For Sale sign and its back to the beginning.

Illegal alien

2008-07-13T20:04:00.000+02:00

Last Friday I drove back after a late meeting and cocktail from France to Italy. I changed clothes and put on a t shirt since the weather was still so warm.
When I arrived at the Peage La Turbie, there was virtually nobody that was ‘willing to cross the border’ and I could choose basically any booth to pay. When I put in my credit card, a man dressed in a black uniform flashed his light in my eyes and pulled me over.

This was obviously a police officer that was happy to finally see a person and get some work done. He and his colleague looked with suspicion at me and I quickly washed off my smile.

He asked me straight to see what was in the booth. Sure, no problem open it, I have nothing to hide. No, sir, get out of the car and do it for us. Sure, you lazy man ! I got out, opened the booth, showed the inside of a potential hiding place and was allowed to close it. But the guy started to get a little bit aggressive. Did I know that cannabis is not allowed? Of course I do and by the way, I am Dutch. Oops, silly me. Why do I advocate the use of illegal drugs?

Pardon me? Yes, you are wearing a t shirt with a cannabis leaf on your left arm. What? Oh right, and since when this is illegal? He started to get really excited now. This is illegal in France and very stupid. Do you want me to take it off? Yes, I would, he replied, if I had it on my trouser or if I had another one it the car. You are taking the piss right? No Mr Black Uniform and moustache was not of the joking variety and started to read me the law. I was getting more and more pissed off and said that he must be bored to spend so much time over this and asked to leave. I was allowed and while I speeded off I could still hear him and his colleague debating.

I learned a wise lesson that evening…the safest way to cross the border is naked and with the booth open…you are warned !

Promenade poetry in motion

2008-07-09T19:50:00.000+02:00

What is better after a good meal to go for a stroll on the promenade of Bordighera. Surely not as grand as the Promenade des Anglais but more charming. With a cool evening breeze and the wave hitting the shores the stroll started half way through.
The most enjoyable thing to do during a walk I find is to observe others and ‘figure out’ what they are doing or thinking. With the Italians being rather nocturnal, the play ground is still lively until about 23.00 with kids playing or trying not to fall asleep in buggies or tiny plastic houses.

The next part is more restaurant orientated and offers a lot of peeking options but let me just share one. With the tourist season in full swing, there is a fair part of the promenade crowd that is foreign and bless them …Dutch. My eye was caught by a group of rather grey and stubby folks that had rosy cheeks and of which one was wearing clocks (wooden shoes) the real deal with socks. I didn’t think anybody still wears them but this guy was serious about it. When I got a bit closer it was obvious, these gnome like people were farmers that probably purchased a cheap bus ticket with Oad to tour the South of France and surroundings. They have plenty of money in rappers terms ‘they keep it real’.

Funnily enough they sat down at one of these funky restaurants and interested to order. The waitress asked them what they wished for and they all replied ; ijs ! The girl was surprised by the outburst and asked again. The reply was similar ; IJS !!! But this time very loud and clear because if you speak very loud in Dutch everybody understands… The girl pointed out that they serve coffee and drinks so disappointed the group decided to go for a Espresso latte, which they pronounced with the fattest ‘achterhoek’ accent I have every heard, hilarious!

Moving on, I spotted an old chap with a bike cycling towards a cat that had three legs pointing the right way and one the opposite (no joke) they seemed to know each other. He sat down on a garden bench and the cat jumped next to him and he stroked it gently. Than he took a plastic bag from his bike and served a delicious meal to this cat. This was clearly a widow that has struck up a friendship with a cat that barter strokes for food and some peace. Very touching to see and it clearly underlined that having a stroll is not just healthy it is also very entertaining and offers small painting of people lives that we seem to have forgotten they existed.

To tan, to fry

2008-07-07T19:22:00.001+02:00

My favourite place to chill is at Amarea in Bordighera (www.amareaplage.it) It has a fantastic corner of the beach, with great design, good food and lovely staff and a good Wifi connection and therefore a good network opportunity since all the entrepreneurs seem to like the place too.

The owners are ambitious and with only 1,000 euro for one chair per month, it is very cheap… However the place is sold out and frequented by a rare kind of Italian of the crispy variation also known under the name ItalianTan. Since the art of appreciating the beautiful things in life is perfected by the Italians, I have been paying close attention to the visitors.
All seem to have a rather cool life that involves around sun, see and good food. The kids are being managed by the grannies and the husbands are working hard and are only allowed to join them during the weekend, providing of course that he brings his plastic Gold card.

The ladies install themselves on the lounge chair kitted out in designer bathing suits (read small) at around 10 in the morning and discuss world politics and read literature… Well, the last part is not true of course, why bother. They lay on their backs and tan for hours and hours, small breaks are permitted only to eat a salad or drink a cocktail and than back to tanning.

It seems that the Italians have discovered that if you sunbath the whole day your skin will get a colour nobody thought would be possible. They try hard and put in great efforts for hours, days even weeks and some for months. Enabling themselves to get that tan that makes you the cream de la cream of Bordighera. This colour I can only qualify as fried chicken or Imitation Afro Tan. It is basically a colour that gets tattooed on your body will only leave after the summer. It is scary to see that suncream is applied only on kids and even the grannies prefer to get first the lobster look before hitting the afro status.

I am still trying to figure out if this enables them to elevate them to a new status in society and among friends or is it just a trend. I guess that soon they will belong to a very select part of our population and that part is better to be avoided at all cost !

Disneyland is opening in Bordighera

2008-07-07T19:20:00.002+02:00

In hectic times you need to relax and what better way to relax in a different land or world. Well, for some this is Disneyland and Bordighera, always on the look out for new attractions, has opened Bordiland. Great, Disneyland in my back garden. They purchased a huge outdoor campaign to promote it and we marketing junkies know how important it is to highlight your USPs or what makes it stand out from the others!

Well, Bordighera has indeed struck on gold…this park is the only and I repeat, the only place where they have a huge toilet ! Amazing, those creative guys at Disney are probably hitting themselves on the head for not having thought of this. A huge toilet! What is more fun than that? I can see the smiles on kids faces already! Can we go to the big toilet pleaaaaaaaaaaaaassssssseeeee?
Next weekend I will get flushed and I am already looking forward to it…

DIY DIE

2008-07-07T19:18:00.001+02:00

The moment is there to start to put things together that will be used for the house and this weekend I started to assemble my garden set, lounge chairs and bed. Oh what fun…My tools where not at this house so I need to rely on a Ikea DIY set that costed 5 euros and promised to assist me during long hours of screwing (pardon me the expression)

I managed to drag all the boxes to a place where the sun was not trying to fry me and opened the first boxes that contained 4 chairs and one table. Easy, I can do this! Put my newly found Hip Music Station on and started to read the manual. Hang on, manuals are for losers, I need to get down and dirty without them. First chair progressed to the final stages during which a small plastic circle had to be placed between the arms set. Damn, this was like operating on a snail with a forklift truck! Thanks to my Yoga lessons…I managed to get hold of one part of the chair, the other was held by my teeth, my toes were holding the screw driver and my elbow pushed the plastic thingy in. Excellent, good job Dr Erwin. I put the chair straight away in the garden and took a good look at it. Oh dear, I reversed one of the back panels which made it look a bit strange but strange is good right?

Next three chairs were dealt with in a proper manner, followed by the table and the two lounge chairs. Slowly the house is getting dressed up and start to look like somebody actually wants to move in. Satisfied with the work done I tried to close the door behind me and noticed that all that DIYing had left my hands in a strange shape, like I was permanently holding a screwdriver in my hands. I guess I should stick to powertools and manuals but well, were is the fun in that?

In for a challenge?

2008-07-07T19:07:00.000+02:00

We all have seen the programs on television about a fantastic place in the sun. People geared up for a new experience, ready to learn another language and blend in with the locals. Ambitious projects of Bed and Breakfast or even hotels, changing from a hectic life style to a more relaxed and well balanced environment, rich of colour, sunshine and good food.
And than reality hits them and they all become depressed and nothing seem to work anymore. All the positive energy is being transformed into frustration and things just stop going there way.

This is the story I keep hearing when people find out that I purchased a house in Italy that is being constructed. Fair enough, it is not easy but what is? So, is the reality as bad as those programs show us? Well, no it is worse…just kidding. It is challenging that is for sure.
Since months I have been eager to take possession of the house and this has been impossible to a huge number of things. On itself not a problem, I have a temporary roof and I know that the house will be finished, although I have no idea in which year…

Sometimes it is just funny. You have been waiting for two month to get the parquet floor and than it is done in one day. Fantastic! A quick visit to the site than learns you that it has been done but the builders ordered not enough so it is not completely done. Oh by the way, they are out of stock. Challenging indeed. The newly set date to move in is now Wednesday and for me this is just another day. I have had 7 deadlines so far and none has been respected. At least they are constant ;) The question is not when will I move in but more like, if I move in.
Painting has been done by a painter that apart from painting walls has more tattoos than Robert de Niro in CapeFear and wanted to get paid upfront 100%. Yes, we all live in Disneyland and my name is Mickey Mouse.

Next phase will be building the kitchen. Three missed appointments of potentional Bob the Builders and I guess that soon I will purchase a Buta gas set and boil some water for my pasta. The rule is simple, nobody has time and when they have time for you they all think that they are Designers and therefore putting a kitchen together or painting a wall is below their standard hence the price is more expensive. Well, true, I don’t mind saying to my friends that Candy & Candy did my kitchen and Leonardo da Vinci did the painting but lets stay humble and get to work ! I guess I should write a book about it all, sell it online and with the revenue refund the purchase and the ‘designers’… Now there is a challenge!

Party like its ...

2008-06-19T13:04:00.002+02:00

Italians are passionated people, whether its food or there culture, Italia is of course the best. But when it comes to football...there cant be anything better on the planet! Last week the Orange army kicked their behinds and the match against a poorly playing France was there ultimo chance.

The streets were empty, bars and restaurants full and all Italian men were extremely nervous. I was being asked to give the Dutch coach a call to do our ' sportive duty' and win our match, which would help them. I called and left a message...
Naturally nobody was watching the Dutch game so the match was watched at home and the Dutch did helped the Italians and won 2-0 and the Italians? Well they got a penalty and a free kick and won 2-0. Were they happy?

Well like they won the whole tournement ! Every car owner took his car straight after the match and kitted it out with a huge Italian flag and for over 2 hours they drove up and down the main street. It was utter madness! A three wheel car had 5 people on the back without shirts on and shouting ITALIA. Everybody was using its klaxon and lights and scooters raced in between with flags bigger than your bedsheets. The Italians gathered all in the town square singing the shortest song in football history...Italia Italia.

Two hours later they decided to call it a day and go home, thank God ! The next day I was being thanked everywhere for winning (and having made the call of course) and the car repair shops seemed to be doing well, ordering new klaxons and lights.
Passion has its price but the Italians football passion has none!

A wise man said...

2008-06-15T18:33:00.002+02:00

A lot of things have been said about the Dutch and now with the European Championships it seems that everybody has an opinion about the Dutch and naturally the way we play and they way we give support to our favourite team.
Oranje is our colour and since we are winning its also our team! As long as they play nice attacking football we are happy.

The city of Bern has been hosting the majority of Dutch fans and with only 60,000 (!) orange coloured people it must have been a good time for the restaurants all around.

The most accurate t shirt I noticed in the crowd was this one on the picture.
Now that explains a lot ....

Expect the Unexpected

2008-06-15T17:08:00.001+02:00

We live in a strange world where things are changing fast and sometimes we don’t really realise when they have changed and than it might be too late. This makes life challenging but interesting too and we discover things we would normally never have discovered, whether that is in our environment or within ourselves.
Sometimes we are be able to influence them and sometimes they just happen and this can be daily. In essence we should embrace it and not regret it because everything happens for a reason ! Expect the unexpected, because when you do it will change your life.

Reverend ERJB

Arrivederci Genitori

2008-06-14T15:32:00.002+02:00

After 5 weeks (!) my parents are moving back to the Netherlands. During those 5 weeks they have discovered that Bordighera and Seborga is a small Nizza, where the people are friendly and the food is super wherever you go. The goal of my parents was to help in the garden and do some painting but due to the delays they were forced to do…nothing, and that turned out not to be so bad! The white wine and the sun seemed to be a good substitute! The second goal of my parents was not to cook during 5 weeks which, unfortunately for them they didn’t manage…two evenings my mum had to be forced to prepare a meal, my sincere apologies mum.

I have to say it was a bit strange to see my parents for such a long time. It has been 10 years since I left Holland and I moved from home at 18. But frankly we had a great time together.

The whole town (well restaurants’, bars and brasseries) were aware of their presence and the impact on the local economy cannot be underestimated.
It seems that my mum has become a pesto addict and my father well… basically seemed to be in a state of ‘always hungry’.

During the holiday they have read a combined total of 20,000 pages, which is an achievement and when the departure was there, 14 bags were ready to be taken home. Those bags were filled with all types of food and beverages to maintain a holiday feeling when back at the HQ.

The return to Holland and apparently the relatively bad weather must be hard but a bit of pesto and vino bianco does wonders.
Well the OrangeEmpire salutes the genitori and hopes to welcome them back soon!

Welcome at the Banque Postal

2008-06-14T15:11:00.002+02:00

Having moved away from Nice means that you still need to deal with some admin stuff and this time around it was returning the modem of Alice. Alice had even send me a sticker for free handling so this shouldn’t take a long time…
To avoid silly postal services I went straight to the HQ of La Poste (now privatised) and joined the line with my modem in my hands. The lady behind the desk looked at me and asked what I wanted. Well, a box to send the modem back please. Sorry we can give you that.

Pardon? Nope, you have a free sticker from Alice so we cannot sell you a box. I try to understand the logic but at this stage I am not getting it. Ok, I will buy a box, we tape it with brown tape so it become an ordinary box and than send it. Sorry, cant do it and pls leave cos you are stopping the line from advancing.
I left the post office looking for a shop to buy a parcel but went instead to the local pharmacy, explained my grief and she handed me a small box perfect fro me. Excellent, I walk back, get in line and with a small I am back ! Sir, your box is not closed. I know that so please give me some tape and I will do it. Sir, we are a post service not a wrapping department. Damn, I am getting a bit angry now. So, you are telling me that you don’t have any tape in the whole HQ?

Indeed sir and please move away from the line. What the F… Again I leave the place now contemplating to buy a gun… I head to the first little sandwich shop and ask if they have some tape, I will pay anything for it ! The lady laughs and laughs even louder when I explain my adventure. I close the box and bought a coca to thank her. Now back in the line I am sure to beat them. Strangely enough the two desks are open but the lady that talked to me doesn’t want to do this anymore and the other one is walking (well snails go quicker) behind his desk and returns 5 minutes later, puffing and staring at me like I was dressed in Orange and just kicked Henry in the …. He looks at the parcel and says, sorry it doesn’t fit under the window.

What? Did I just deliver the biggest parcel in France?? I points at a special door that opens and I need to slide it in. I ask him what to do with the stickers and he puffs a little more and points at the sliding door. I carefully put it in there. He grabs it, stick the sticker on it and whacks it over his shoulder in a box. Just under one minute. I ask him if this is it, do I need to sign, pay or do whatever they want me to do? Nope, I need to move along cos I am blocking the line…La Poste, to be avoided at all costs!

Orange 11 give football lessons

2008-06-11T18:44:00.001+02:00

The European championships have started and on Monday the Dutch were playing the Italian, current World champions. Dressed up in Orange we headed to the local pub to be welcomed with laughter and free drinks cos Marco van Basten still makes the Italian like the Dutch.

The match started off in good spirit and we were all surprised by the free flowing play of the orange army (and of course the 30,000 supporters turning Bern into a Dutch town) and the difficulties they were causing the solid Italians. With lots of screaming and gestures the match was being followed by about 50 people in a tiny bar that was heating up every minute.
Than Holland scored (with a debatable goal) and the Italian were not happy, but we were !

The game progressed and the Italians were getting more and more fired up until Sneijder kicked from close range a beautiful goal behind Buffon. Tears were getting visible and all of a sudden those orange dressed supporters were less fun, this means war!
During the break, the bar served drinks on a table outside and the Italians compliment the us on the display of the orange 11 and told us there favourite Holland moment. It is incredible but everywhere I have been in the world somebody seems to know Dutch players and the way we play. We on the other hand couldn’t believe the performance, being Dutch means we are never satisfied with the way the Dutch team plays and the number of goals or the defensive play but today…it seems to be all ok!

The second half was a closer call, since the Italians decided to attack. The entry of Del Piero was greeted with huge cheers in the pub, Torino (Juventus) is close to Bordighera and very popular. He was straight away dangerous and the Italians were getting back their confidence.
But Gio van B, crushed their dreams and made it 3 : 0 for the Dutch!!!
The supporters of Italian left the pub and the streets were crowded again with people returning to their houses. The night belonged to the Dutch and the sky turned Orange.

Moving yet again

2008-06-03T17:48:00.002+02:00

Last weekend was moving weekend with the Bleu friend and my parents and I started to pack things at 9.30 in the morning after an inspirational cup of coffee and a sandwich. We loaded the blue friend up and noticed that the weather forecast was wrong again and granted us a sunshine and soon many pearls of sweat...
It still amazes me each time that when you actually start packing your whole life is literally in your hands and they are really full!

In order to get it all done asap we decided on clear roles. My mum would be logistic manager and find creative ways of making moving life easier. (basically using all types of transport) My dad was the Organiser, making sure that all was well coordinated and packed and put in the right areas. I was the donkey ... I drove the van and carried the heavy boxes. Quiet a sight the three of us in the van in the front racing through Bordighera to Seborga.

We managed to get it all sorted (more or less) before 22.00 in the evening, we an exhausted team sitting at the table eating a pizza and showing eachothers blues.
The Bos Inc managed to get it all done and still share a pizza at the end of the day...
If that is not the right family spirit than I dont know what is ! Big thanks to the oldies did proof that being old is just a state of mind.

My blue friend

2008-05-27T22:15:00.003+02:00

When I left Nice at the beginning of Nice I rented a little van via Locauto at a good price. For this weekend I need to do the same however I am no longer in Nice so I need to find a rental company that provides the same service.

A quick search on the internet learned that Maggiore is the rental agent and they are based in Sanremo. Great, not too far. Even better all can be booked on the internet. Registration on the site, selection of the van, the right pick up and drop off times, click to confirm... Error message. This van is not available. Merde, I select the other ones and each van is not available, which either means they are very successful or their system sucks. Frankly, I believe the later part.

A quick call to them learned me that I wasnt wrong. All are available but the system doesnt allow vans to be hired through the internet. Basically you can go through the complete procedure but at the end you can confirm. I wanted to say that it might be better to indicate that straight but didnt bother.

I confirmed my booked and the guy replied; thank you for booking at Amico Blu. Excuse me? Yes, the van rental part is called like that.

Right, so Saturday I will be driving my Blue Friend to the heights of Seborga, a real adventure.

Headache V1.0 for Wii?

2008-05-26T18:58:00.002+02:00

Yesterday and today I am at war with a splitting headache and sofar the headache is winning. I tend not to take to quickly any form of medication but I have been drinking the 1000mg dose as water. The headache has taken away the desire for coffee, which is strange cos generally you will get an headache if you dont take any, being slightly addicted ...

But when you sit behind your desk and dont move too much it is fine. However when you start picking up pieces of paper, running from left to right, taking and making calls, the effects feel like a Wii overdose.
Movements is great but while your brain is trying to leave its shelter it enjoyed so long, it becomes a bit more annoying.
This sounds indeed a bit like complaining but luckily I am hardly ever ill so maybe it was just a little test to see if I can cope. And men generally have a great pain
threshold...

So, I can honestly say, there wont be lost of Wii-ing at this stage and I think that the new Wii fit wont help either. That is a Wii bit annoying but I am sure it will be all over tomorrow.

Parents Holiday Facts

2008-05-25T22:37:00.003+02:00

My family asked me if my parents are ok in this new part of the world... well I can confirm a number of things and add some interesting facts !

Reading books is fun, even more with over 300 pages.
Sun is the preferred weather for holidays
At their age you dont cook anymore you go to a restaurant, everyday!
Small trips are ok, but dont overdo it.
White wine is healthy.
Cookies, chocolate, crisps and panini's are yummy.
An espresso comes in varies forms and shapes, let's try them all.
Watching sport is fun, certainly with 50 village men in a pub.
The bed is so comfortable it should be used for lots of sleeping.
Shopping for groceries is fun and cheap.
Being not in Holland is great but why does Elma make headlines now?

Well, you get the point, there are having a good time and Bordighera for them is like a small Nice but more friendly with lots of good restaurants at good prices.
I guess they will never leave...

Flower Powerless

2008-05-25T13:46:00.002+02:00

Yesterday the Bos family opted for a trp to Imperia to check out a famous flower decoration parade. This was big so we better take the train. In the whole of Bordighera there are only nice people the only not nice one is sitting behind a big window selling train tickets. First attempts we got two tickets for Genoa one way...and many no capito's. The three people standing in front of her asking for three tickets seemed a hard one.

Next phase taking the train, not easy cos all indicated trains work but not on a bank holiday or Saturday or when it rains or ...well you get it.
Finally we arrived at Impera at a little train station with no bus in sight we decided to walk. There was not a flower in sight and I started to worry. We entered the first bar to ask the lady who had never heard of the festival and mentioned that there is a second Imperia town 3 km further on. Interesting. We decided not to give up and than at least have a look at the dome. We struggled up the hill and arrived at the dome which was massive and very nicely decorated, worth the little walk.
A quick stop to get a lunch in a bar that was used to play cards or play slot machines eg LOTS of noise but fun.

Just before we left, my father gave a last attempts to get the info on the flowers and he came back with a smile, 200 meters from the bar was the start. Well that is a good surprise BUT the owner told us that they have started the work on it for tomorrow morning, about 50 meters but only 1 meter was actually done. A builders deja vu feeling came across me...

When we finally reached the place, plenty of women were decorating drawings on the floor with cut up flowers and different types of powder, legal stuff of course.
Interesting but not so interesting as we thought.
We took a close look at the 1 meter and discovered the tiny city further and decided to head back to see if we got catch a train.
Ours was at 18.35 but funnily enough we arrived at 17.25 and there was one at 17.41 although nowhere indicated.
It seems that the world of trains and flowers is still a mystery to us...

Flappy strikes back

2008-05-22T22:27:00.001+02:00

Yesterday evening was of course the biggest night of the year in terms of the Champions league football final in Moscow.
For the first time two English team that reach the final and battle it out for the cup with the big ears. Unfortunately due to some business commitments I didn’t manage to see the match but I was lucky when at the 90th minute the score was 1-1 and 30 minutes needed to be added to decide the winner. Chelsea was of course the ‘local’ favourite thanks to the cheque book of uncle Roman (800 million euro spent) and Man United the international favourite (and they only spent 100 million).

The English fighting spirit was definitely present, although the majority of the team is cover a multitude of countries. I don’t really favour any of the teams (Ajax is my team although I now tend to be shy about mentioning that) but ManU had a slight preference for me simple because of Flappy ! Who? Flappy van der Sar, the Dutch goal keeper of ManU and previous winner with …Ajax. This old windmill is capable of keeping the ball out of the goal just by waving his ears and he is a nice guy.

So I did place my bet prior to the match and I predicted 1-1, overtime and penalties and ManU as the final winner. I placed the huge amount of 5 euros on it and ordered a Panini cos diner was forgotten a bit. In a thrilling final where the rain was pouring down, the English supporters drank all the booze available on the Red Square, it looked like it would be heading to penalties and THAT would be the best time for Flappy to sign!

Indeed, Erwin Hiddink was not wrong and penalties were taken with ooooppss Ronaldo missing for ManU, pretty strange after having scored 41 goals this season but thanks for the additional excitement. Than Terry of Chelsea thought it was nice to slide before kicking and things were tied again. Now it is one after the other and the first person to miss will loose it all, what a poetic justice…

And and, FLAPPY managed to grab hold of the very simpatico (not) Anelka and It was all over ! Flappy strikes again and he will be happy to get hold of a trophy that has even bigger ears than his !

Elma Holmes...

2008-05-20T22:18:00.003+02:00

After almost 15 years and two innocent people jailed my little sister has just solved the biggest crime story in the region ! Ok, she had a little help from some blue wearing officers (no smurfs) and this morning they arrested the suspect and this afternoon, Elma took the stand. Organising the press conference, introducing the case to the journalist and even a meeting with Holland biggest crime fighter Peter R de Vries. The police has never looked so smart !
Soon there will be an Elma fanclub and I am looking forward to see her pushing that moustache...congrats little sis!

Check it out here

Eggs are creative too

2008-05-18T16:07:00.001+02:00

At JuniorSenior we are always on the look out for new things, fun things, interesting things, basically things that make you say; cool ! fun ! nice ! Of course the majority comes from inside our company ;) but there are some other agencies that are taking up the challenges and this example is one I picked up recently at Sony and it is visually very strong and doesn’t need a lot to make its message clear, simple and well thought.

And a good message, we all need to relax now and than.

Delivery time, Peruvian style

2008-05-18T16:05:00.002+02:00

Yesterday morning at 10.00 o’clock I received the long awaited delivery of the kitchen and many other stuff that I ordered in Genova. Unfortunately the delays of the work have made the access road rather Paris-Dakar and sliding down doesn’t seem to be an option, so you can imagine that I was slightly worried… A huge truck arrived and three tiny men got out of it.
Two looking like they played the flute in the street as part of the Peruvian whistle blowers that for long have graced our streets. Ooops, this looks like it will be difficult and I got even more worried when I showed them the access road and where it needed to be installed. They started straight to light a cigarette and discuss this among each other.

Than they opened the lift door and the started to unpack thing and the 2,50m fridge combination was staring like Goliath at two little Davids… But than my eyes almost popped out when the tiniest man turned its back on the fridge and carried, running down the steep access road, into the house!!! I couldn’t believe my eyes! They must have been doing Sherpa tracking in the mountains cos these two guys were unbelievable, asking each time to put more and more on their shoulders, head or back. Within 2 hours a huge trucks was empty and in between they cracked a number of jokes and managed to make several calls.

I was really impressed because they also put everything in the right place, had all the paper work sorted out and were never complaining about the quantity the weather of the work. (try that with the guys at the SNCF in France)

At the end I was really pleased that they did so much work and so quick in a situation that was easy for them and a little bonus was in order.
Next time when I will see them playing their bamboo pipes I will give them an extra euro and might even go for the cd…although, I shouldn’t stretch it too far…

Orange is everywhere

2008-05-18T15:35:00.001+02:00

The European Championships are approaching and some people might start to notice that The Netherlands is quickly turning into a place of Orange. Houses are being painted orange, cars will be kitted out with orange features, the mayonnaise is produced orange and with thanks to my parents…M&Ms are adopting the same strategy and have produced oranges ones.

Taste wise there is of course no difference and they still don’t melt in your hand, but when you crock one in your mouth you can almost hear 40,000 people shouting and singing.

As with every football championship we have the best players and the best coach and we will as usual put in a bad performance and loose on penalties but I am happy cos those M&Ms are keeping the dream alive and my stomach filled. Oufff I just finished 300 grams and it feels a bit strange, my mum thinks that I will soon turn orange… A bit early bit it might come in handy soon…

Bordighera is da bomb!

2008-05-14T15:02:00.001+02:00

Today there is a huge party in Bordighera. The reason? I have no clue but they are not kidding when they are building a party area… This morning they have taken all the ammunition that was left over from the Iraq war and installed it on the beach front. A number of serious looking chaps have been building strange looking pipes and boxes and another number of serious looking policemen have been keeping an eye on things.

Obviously wearing the full uniform that must be 50 degrees by now and drinking an espresso. It looks like tonite they will put in a good effort to clean Bordighera right off the map and at least get rid of the ‘weapons’ that obviously have been laying around in somebody’s garage and he was cleaning up or something. They will set light to it at 22.00 tonite and that could be my last blog…if I will be too close. It has been a pleasure…

The garden pimp feature of the year

2008-05-14T14:52:00.001+02:00

The new garden needs to get designed and for this the use of Bos Inc has flown in. They have already provide me with the kit to create enough havoc in the garden to last me a while…

But I clearly instructed them to provide me with something that is memorable and that is a real feature in the garden. They have gone through great lengths and found this rather exquisite garden gnome to pimp my garden. Have a look at the picture and you will agree with me, this gnome rules! He even has a sign for deaf people and has a macho way of being a gnome, you can almost hear him saying, hey, what’s up !
He even provides a source of light when soaking up the sun and is therefore environmental friendly too!

I personally think that I am off for a great garden and that this part of the pimping exercise is a real hit. Having said so… when we had a closer look, his cool arm dropped off…sheer gnome pressure.

Garden Survival Kit

2008-05-14T14:50:00.001+02:00

My parents have arrived with about 60 kilos of additional weight to them. This additional weight was part of the present for the new house and involved several stages of revealing it.

The initial stage covered all the tool to dig up the earth, the second stage was more subtle, smaller version of the first stage. The follow stage was a more useful stage, 20 kilo of earth and 20 kilo of some other type. These bags were obviously only bursting open when they arrived on my kitchen floor. Than the decorative stage, nice baskets and a tray to pimp the garden even further. Final stages, plants ! Yes, even that came from Holland. Strawberries and lavender and some other plants with strange leafs…

All has been professionally been put together and ready to get shipped over to its new ground.
The next phase will be designing the garden area and that will be a bit more difficult but well if you are be able to take half the garden center with you from Holland, I guess that this is just a little challenge.

Where to watch the curling

2008-05-11T14:13:00.003+02:00

My parents are soon arriving to assist with the painting work and installing bits and pieces in the house... Well, that was the plan! However the Italian Builder Gods have decided against this and another delay has made me prolong my stay at the rented apartment and even added a second for my parents. (this with lots of help from the real estate agent) The delay was quiet obvious since the access road was not even ready and the toilet was fixed, or bearly. After a heated discussion between the constructor and the real estate agent (I was not present to see this soap opera)

I got the report that said that they thought the house was ready to move in... The real estate had a right fit and kicked some builders behind to come to some kind of agreement. This agreement is still to be confirmed and the new date will be the 1st of June. Although the builder believes that it will be most likely the 19th of May. This would be good but still a bit late. As noted in my dads email, he was thinking that I invested in a big LCD screen and that he could watch a huge variety of sportevents from Seborga. With the Giro d'Italia, F1 in Monaco, the champions league final and of course the World Champion Curling in Kazachstan...

A right shame of course! Even worse, he doesnt know that the rented apartment doesnt even has a television and he therefore is obliged to visit the region, dressed up in white trainers and a hawaii shirt and taking pictures of cultural things.
Mr Bos has to become a tourist instead of a sportist. Well, I hope that the house will be finished soon before the European Championships football start, I guess you need to have goals in your life...

Toilet not Yet

2008-05-08T12:21:00.002+02:00

One of the most remarkable things missing in the house for the moment is the toilet and sink. Two elements that really are essential to increase the comfort of your own home and although (as you can see) they were delivered a while ago, nobody seemed to be bothered by them and certainly there was no intention to actually nail them to the wall. I was willing to give it a go but after a quick look in my Marketing books, I was not be able to find anything that relates to toilets.

But surprise surprise when I paid yet another visit to the site at around 20.30 in the evening. There was just about enough light (natural light) to notice that the bathroom had been pimped with a sink and a toilet on the first floor and a toilet and bidet on the second. Fantastic, they only thing was that it had not been hooked up properly nor fixed to the wall, which I reckon will take yet another 10 days or so... But it is funny to notice that the simple sight of a toilet can make you happy!
Now I just have to hope that I dont feel the urge to....because that would complete things a bit further.
Hurayyyyyyy for toilets !

Artful Mess

2008-05-06T10:55:00.001+02:00

When you are on site it is quiet annoying to see what is wasted. The number of metal frames, tiles, wooden cases, plastic bits and pieces are scattered across the ground. Some will end up in the ground being buried by the builders ( I spotted this before and manage to get 25 kilos of metal frames removed afterwards) and others will be taken away and dumped somewhere.

I still find it strange that there isn’t a company that deals with these things and takes care of builders waste. ( I am not talking about the numerous beer bottles) The environment is mostly likely to suffer from this and I don’t like to stick my hands in the ground while gardening and ending up with my hands sliced by some left over parts. Since getting rid of the waste is expensive it is hard to actually convince them to do so. On the other hand, have a look at the photo and see how arty cut off terraces tiles are ! I am sure that Damian Hirst would be able to sell this at a top price and so solving the cost problem of getting rid of waste in a proper way.

Paint Faint

2008-05-06T10:52:00.002+02:00

When your house is being built and the only thing your are adding to it is basically …Money, it is nice that you get the opportunity to do some else and painting is just that.With 30 liters of paint for the 1st and 2nd layer, plenty of brushes and other useful tools, the painting process started. The worst possible start is always the ceiling, that is tough to do and the 1st layer always seems to take forever. But with a fresh summer breeze and plenty of non smelly paint the ceiling got his first layer as well as the walls. Rewarding to see it being virgin white and with the left over paint I walked upstairs to do the staircase and the bathroom.

Sometimes it is good that the parquet floor and toilets are still missing, so that I can mess around with the paint without causing any problems. Although the bath room was challenging with the new tiles and bath, you need to be an acrobat to paint.
About 40m2 is done now which means that there is still plenty to do and it became clear that the living room and its ceiling will be the worst thing to do. The sheer size makes it a tough job that will take an amateur painter as moi very long so I guess this needs to be outsourced to somebody that actually knows what he is doing.
It is nice to contribute to the finalisation of the house but in the end…paying somebody to get it all sorted isn’t a bit thing either.

Sherlock Builder

2008-05-06T10:50:00.001+02:00

Normally I was allowed to move in on Saturday providing that the exterior of the house still needed to be finished and I was therefore very happy to accept my delivery of electronic appliances on Saturday, after hours of waiting.
In the meantime I continued to scrutinize the house for the progress and things they have put in place since the last visit. Of course they know me by now and know ways to cover up but this time I came prepared! I dressed up as filter unit (as you can see in the picture) to blend in with the building equipment and to Sherlock my way through the two floors.

That morning it was even clearer than in my denial phase…I would not be able to set foot in this for a number of weeks. With no parquet floor, fuse boxes hanging out of their sockets, no actual electricity, hot or cold running water and no inside painting and this was just the inside.

The outside access was now a big long grave that had welcomed a number of funky coloured tubes but still not sure for what. The toilet etc had arrived but was still sealed on a pallet in front of the house. I got in the car and drove back to prepare myself for the Abfab wedding.

When I arrived home I got a text message of the real estate guy confirming my worst fear…the builder has come clean and admits that they are well behind schedule and that the 1st of May isn’t possible and that the 1st of June is more likely. Fantastic… with deliveries scheduled, parents flying in, painting in full progress etc I now need to be more patient again.
On Monday I will meet with the builders to get compensation for the 1 month rent and I will ask them to paint the inside too, which seems fair because they had confirmed a fortnight ago that it all would be fine. Let’s wait and see what will be the next surprise.

I guess that the disappointed only is stronger when you can actually see the finish line but in any case the line has not disappeared it merely moved a bit further.

Wash up Man

2008-05-06T10:49:00.002+02:00

With Superman, Spiderman, Batman and of late Ironman, there are a lot of superheroes around that are helpful! However the majority are just men dressing up in silly outfits and trying to save the world. But the AsterCorperation has come up with a complete new superhero that is useful and can be purchased in every respectable Supermarket.

It is the Wash Up Man ! A powerful Michelin like man with a pointy hat that when you squeeze him the right way, will produce just about enough of green liquid that does marvels when it is mixed with water. I tried it on plates, knifes, cups and saucers and the result is amazing. Finally a Superhero that I can appreciate and that delivers results ! And that for a price inferior of that of a ticket to see Ironman! Wash Up Man coming to a sink near you soon!

Operation Goat

2008-05-06T10:46:00.002+02:00

Creative people have creative ideas and when you need to get a present for creative people we tend to go through great lengths to be creative too. At JuniorSenior this is no different and when we needed to decide to get AbFab a wedding present, the team decided that this should be two goats. Yes very creative indeed :)

So, just a couple of days before the big day I receive an email explaining me the decision making process and the end result and basically I was voted to find them the goats. Well, as everybody know, the Goat d’Azur is very well known for its goat population and there are Goat ‘r Us Shops on every corner of every street…
First stage, Goat Google. Results quiet limited and very often not really related to the issues, although the closest I could find was Goat Kebab, not really the shape nor form I was planning on giving them.

The second stage, getting the info from experts, on the phone, per email etc
A kennel had two but didn’t wanted to sell them. Another person might sell them to me but I needed to drive for 4 hours and wasn’t sure that they would have the right ones. I mean, they needed to look like the new owners…
I visited all the possible Animaleries on the Cote d’Azur, wearing a suit and asking for goats made people suspicious and on numerous occasions I was given a real Gestapo interrogation.
Be careful because they need to be milked, they will eat everything and destroy your land, the have special needs for food and shelter, be careful that you don’t stress them etc etc.

But still goatless! I was then referred to the Agricultural Cooperative in Antibes that sells to companies and farmers and as everybody told me the last possible option. I parked my car in between some tractors and asked the lady at the reception that let me wait for 10 minutes discussing the program on last nights television. When I explained the problem she has one simple answer, sorry we don’t have those. But my bad luck was about to turn when all of a sudden a strange looking man popped from behind a pair of shelves asking me The question; Are you looking for some goats ? Yes, Sir! Well, I have them! Fantastic, two please. But I wont sell them to you! Oh, that is helpful. The guy (at closer observation) was covered in goats number two and probably cuts his hair while wearing a flowerpot, seemed less of a savour. But he said, I know a place where there is a bulletin board and I think I have seen somebody that wanted to sell goats. Great ! Lets go. We ended up staring at a board with no goat adverts on it but just a Brebis, which I forgot …but is the female sheep. That will do! I called the guy, got the usual 10 Questions to get a pseudo goat and scored 10 out of 10. I was be able to pick them up (with the future owners) and a big cheque cos the supply and demand and the subprime crisis is apparently also hitting hard on the goats market.

Now I hope that the couple will like them, cos otherwise I am obliged to take them myself, although I could make kebab…

Mind the Gap

2008-04-29T10:09:00.002+02:00

Soon I will be kicked out of my rented property and need therefore to get everything sorted at the new house. But what is there to be sorted when things are not moving.
Yesterday end of the afternoon, I thought it was sensible to check the status since normally the inside would be finished this coming Friday. When I arrived I noticed how calm it is ... I DONT WANT CALM ! I want to see sweaty workmen (for the record this is no fantasy of mine) working from 7 to 21.00 with 100% dedication!

One gentleman was cutting up the pavement OUTSIDE the house, which could only be qualified as not on the inside so therefore, not essential. I had a talk with him and he was very clear about things, he was ordered to do so and when this was finished he was off on a holiday. Oh jolly. I went inside and noticed that the bathroom was finished apart from the toilet and sink and there was a little hole in the wall. Excuse me? Could you explain the hole please? Si, he finished the wall in the bathroom and fixed one of the shelves and he was proud to underline, that this shelf would never move again. We that might be true but there is a hole on the other side of the wall! That was not his problem, he was not hired to close the hole. But were you hired to create it? That seemed to confuse him a little.

Luckily the real estate agent showed up and noticed the delays and some of the little problems and took photos and wrote a report to the constructor.
It seems that there never is a dull moment when you get your house built but with the idea of being on the street and living in a house without a toilet, sink, hot or cold water and no kitchen...seems to scare me a bit. Oh well, they promised it will be finished at the end of the week...

The Swedish Board Computer

2008-04-27T14:43:00.002+02:00

If you are as old as me you will of course remember Knightrider. A curly David Hasselhof driving a black car that has a mind of its own and listens to the name Kitt. This board computer system was revolutionary in the 80s and useful when David wanted to do things that were not allowed, (Michael, Michael,..) Kitt took control and we all lived happily afterwards.

Well, things have moved on and I am the proud owner of a Swedish Board Computer called Knackerbrod or something. This computer supplies with plenty of useful information and often with plenty of completely useless information. 4 weeks ago it decided to indicate that my right head light was not working properly, which I consider useful information. However, have you have tried replacing a headlight? Well you generally end up slicing your hands and spending two entire days to do so and than in the end you head to your local dealer that will do it for you, of course charging you a silly amount of money for it. (nevermind the whole staff taking the piss when you drive off)

Anyway, I decided to be like David and ignore the message. Two weeks later a new message ; Dear Mr Bos we advise you to get your car checked up. I seem to have done a lot of kilometres so useful I guess again but I ignored it again. Knackerbrod wasn’t happy with this and refuses now to display the weather, my CD titles or anything useful that I find really useful. But yesterday Knackerbrod seemed to be pissed off and starts to make even more noises and indicates that now my left light is broken too! This is rather annoying, since that leaves me with not a lot of options and a screen that is filled with message and an angry Knackerbrod.

I guess that I have to visit a car dealer soon and get things repaired cos I remember the Turbo Boost of Kitt and it surely has plenty of other messages hidden in its system. Next time I will buy a Landrover of 1970, that doesn’t have suspension and never breaks down

Miracle jumpers

2008-04-27T14:13:00.002+02:00

This weekend the temperature has remained stable and quiet high, which means wearing a pair of jeans and a t-shirt is quiet warm but not too bad. I have, however, noticed that for Italians this is rather different. It is maybe a matter of class but the average Italian man, will show up in a pair of blue trousers with an elegant formal shirt and a jumper in a flashy colour. May I remind you that the temperature is 20 degrees Celsius! When they start to notice that it is quiet hot the will take off their jumper and casual put it around their shoulders. They don’t seem to mind the heat they prefer to suffer in silence and remain stylish.

You have to admire this dedication and as a matter of blending in, I have decided to follow this and become immune for the heat as well. Find myself a blue pair of trousers (D&G of course), some elegant loafers and nice blue tailored shirt and an orange jumper. Fantastic, ready to visit the local beach lounge place and impress the local crowd.

I walked from the door to the gate of the house… and almost died of the heat. There must be something I am doing wrong or they are all equipped with miracle jumpers because I am not be able to walk more than 5 minutes with it. I think I should better stick to drinking espressos and curse in Italian, that works a treat too.

Paint it black..well White

2008-04-24T13:24:00.002+02:00

Yesterday on my way to a BCC event I stopped at the Leroy Merlin shop to purchase what I thought would be easy and inexpensive…Paint!
When I arrived at the paint department it was rather obvious that a marketing and or business degree is not really helpful here. I therefore asked helped of an elderly looking lady that smelled like a mix of food and paint. She advised me to go for white paint to cover the first layer and than use an expensive mono-couche that will take care of the imperfection of my walls (are they any…) and takes care of it all for many years to come.

Right ok, so I got one container of paint that would cover 120m2, not enough for me so a second one. Than I needed to add this first layer paint to it as well. For the kitchen and bathroom special paint is required too. But the paint is great but you need to stick it on the wall! I opted for the latest design in hairy brushes, handpicked from the bottom of a wildebeest that was grazing in South Africa and didn’t knew what was coming. Good quality I guess!

Than I need to invest in some plastic to cover the floor, a number of buckets to put the paint in and of course some tape to covers areas where paint isn’t required. Anything I forgot? Ah of course a container of orange paint to be used for an area that needs to be defined yet but you cannot have a house with an orange spot somewhere!

Moving over to the till, I spotted orange seat covers that were reduced in price and me being a sucker for impulse purchases… added this to the list.
When it was time to get the credit card out, I looked surprised at the price, painting is for the rich ! It better be good or at least gets me high while painting.

Got it all in the boot of the car until the last container decided to leave its mark on me and sliced my finger nicely. I wanted white and orange paint NOT red! The lady at the reception desk almost passed out and after the divine intervention of the security guard I was freshly bandaged-up and ready to enjoy an evening with the BCC.

Famous Town makes Headlines

2008-04-20T15:36:00.003+02:00

With the keys in my pocket I am surfing the net and ended up at the National Geographic website that has a feature on Seborga ! The little town is still pushing for independance and this attracts a lot of publicity. Underneath you can find the link to the web video and please pay special attention to Mr Ferrari, if you are a frequent reader of my blog you will recognize him from an earlier article AND he is the previous owner of the piece of land my house is built on.

A town of around 350 people making world news is something to watch for :

The link - click here

The Keys to The Casa

2008-04-20T12:48:00.002+02:00

Friday morning was the moment during which I would become the proud owner of a new key (and a complete house attached to it) After some delays the moment was finally there. The weather had been rather bad again so I slided down with my Bikkembergs covered in mud ending up in the arms of the constructors. Men in casual chique but wearing big Wellington boots and still managed to look cool. Why didn’t I got some boots? Well, in all honestly I have no idea where you can purchase them and I think I prefer not knowing.

Anyway, the important thing was the key. After a quick tour showing an almost finished bathroom and a working fireplace I got one key and 5 spare ones! Was this a subtle hit that they knew I would be loosing them quickly ? Even better, the keys given were only of the ground floor, the upper level had a set too. So, within 5 minutes I added 2 kilo of key fat to the pocket of my muddy pair of jeans. It didn’t feel bad at all!

I am used to surprises (good or bad) with the house, so I just waited patiently to hear something and I was not disappointed. Good news, within 2 weeks the inside will be finished, Bad news, not sure if the hot water will work. Good news, there are two private parkings for me, Bad news, the inside needs to be painted by moi. Well, I have become sort of immune for these surprise and I guess there are all part of the HOE (House Owning Experience) and it means just that I need a little bit more patience and paint 130m2 of walls.

But the light at the end of the tunnel can now be spotted and although it will be a sort of camping experience for the coming weeks, I soon can call it my house and open the door with my key ! Time is irrelevant …

Kids' Rock

2008-04-16T11:11:00.001+02:00

Could this be the CD we all need if we want our kids to rock ? I am sure :) Rock on !

Yes key No Key

2008-04-15T21:32:00.002+02:00

Today I was supposed to get the key to mi casa and although I was not expecting any changes to the program, they still surprised me this morning. First a short, face lifted man with heels got elected for a third time as president of Italy (the 65 government since the end of the war!!!) and secondly, an email that explained that I wont get my key today. Damn! Why not, well no reason, c'est comme ca, as the say in good Italian. The builders are advancing but not finished anyway so it is not a big deal but I do like to get my furniture delivered and stored savely.

Well, the constructor understood and offered to do this for 9.00 o'clock on Friday morning. Sounds good to be. Ah just by the way Mr Bos, dont forgot to send us 100.000euro on our account before Friday, that will be handier. Handier? For what ? The weekend?

It seems that money talks and bullshit walks but I guess that this has become a bit Mafia like. After a quick call with the real estate agent it turns out that this is normal and I shouldnt worry ( a phrase I seem to hear rather often lately) and all will be ok for Friday. Well, see about that mister! You dont know my bank ...

Anyway, time is going really fast now and soon the furniture and electronic appliances will be delivered and I need to get it installed and start thinking about how to organise it inside the place. Those are the luxury problems and therefore quiet fun ! I even got excited when I ordered a new lave linge. An aide that is very useful but very boring, so I decided to order one that has a screen that tells me all the info I need to know (and tons I dont) and offers plenty of stupid buttons to keep me busy during the weekend. Ah gadgets ;)

The weather is off...

2008-04-14T11:12:00.001+02:00

Its rains and it rains and than there is the sunshine and than the rain again. The weather seems to changing quicker than the Italian government. While working this is not a problem but I am thinking of the those. The builders are awaiting the time when things are dry to lay the parquet floor.

Otherwise I will have the flooring soon on the ceiling if the humidity is too high. However since I spend so much time thinking and writing about gardens it seems that there is a postive effect on my desk. Since a short number of weeks my keyboard has become green and offered its keyboard space to my greens to grow. It is a bit of a hassle to type but so much more environmental friendly and when I feel hungry I just take a bite.

The only thing I dont need to forget is to close Windows because the plants don't like the wind and rain...
It seems that I am never too old to learn new things !

To finish some unfinished business

2008-04-11T21:10:00.002+02:00

Tonight at around 19.00 I felt the urge to go and see the construction progress, it was already over a week ago since the last visit. The last couple of days have been rather poor and the rain makes the South look like a grey steam bath. On arrival I walked through the little hole in the fence and got stuck straight away in a mixture of mud and clay. Fantastic to make pots of not really good when you are walking in trainers. I decided to slide down and at the bottom of the little hill, I managed to jump on a bunch of stones to get to the neighbouring house. Via the back door I arrived at mine, where I could admire the beautiful blinds colour Kermit the Frog.

At least when there is a moment in life that I get drunk I will always be able to find back home. I opened the blind and proper doors with locks were smiling towards me. While entering the house I discovered that the door inside have been placed too, light wood colour and the bathroom is progressing too. Downstairs the floor is done too and they even managed to create an extra electricity point for the new kitchen. But when you are 4 days away from getting the key it is clear that living in it is not possible for a little while.

This is a minor set back and I therefore decided to take fate in my own hands and climbed in the little digger machine. At that stage my shoes were already close to 4 kilo each, thanks to the mud and I sat down to take control… Well, I have noticed that it rained the last couple of days but I didn’t noticed that the chair was completely soaked hence my happy face on the picture. I guess its better to leave these things to the experts and just be a little patient. It is progressing and it will be great soon !

Angry Old Grannies

2008-04-10T18:13:00.002+02:00

Parkings are places that have no surprises to me anymore. From meeting to meeting, a parking is an essential place and I some are more car friendly than others.
Clearly it is better to have a small car and those newly painted areas are great but not when it rains and you slide down. The most difficult thing is to find a parking spot that is big enough cos the majority of people seem to have difficulties parking.
Today however I was amazed to witness two grannies creating terror in aisle 3B.

My attention was drawn to them when they arrived, shouting and cursing about the parking space size and the big BMW that was almost touching their little Suzuki. The circled around the BMW and kicked his tires! Than one of them tried to reverse and get the car out (she had about 2 meters of space) with the engine growling and the car creeping back and forward, she stopped the engine and continued cursing the BMW.
The second lady agreed with the first that the BMW was guilty of a serious parking crime and she got out the key ...and put her signature on the back of the car. My eyes were popping out !

Did I really witness this. Even worse, the old lady noticed that I saw it and when I passed by she shouted that he deserved it and gave me a mean look. I was confused, should I laugh or say something? Well, I decided to move on, to scared to get beating up by these Hells Angels Grannies.

They might have hidden walking sticks or rollators to beat the holy Moses out of me.
Parkings will never be the same again...

There is a rat in my kitchen

2008-04-07T19:14:00.001+02:00

Oh joy, yesterday it was the final day to get my kitchen ordered for the new house. I have been delaying it for weeks cos I seem to be rather stupid in designing it. It just doesn’t appeal to me and a choice a good but too many choices makes my simple kitchen brain go into game over mood. But with some very skilful Aster help I mentioned to get on a paper what I think will be the coolest kitchen on the planet… well of Seborga. Lots of open space and plenty of drawers to stock whatever tool you need in a modern kitchen.

In order to get the thing ordered a visit to the famous Swedish friends was imposed. The friendly meatballs to get some courage and than…off to the kitchen unit. Fransesco, the Mr Kitchen and as it looked like a habitual user of the Aperitivi Anal, sorry bad joke. Was very skilled in English and guided me through seemingly endless calculations and orders until the final part, the one that hurts the most …the price! Well, it is an important part of the house so I better go for it. Got all the papers printed off and continued the journey to HomeFurnitureLand by adding some more furniture and 2 cupboards, which are second on my hate list of things to organise, before the visit to the till was there.

It was close to 20.00 and having spend almost 7 hours to get all this far, this hurdle was the easy one. Oh dear, all was scanned and my card refused! 3 employees later and many different tries they notified me that they needed to cancel it all and I do it again when I come back! You are joking! My blood was reaching a temperature ready for some good shouting but I continued explaining to them that there must be a mistake. Nevermind all the other people observing a stranger that is not even be able to pay for Ikea.

We moved over to the delivery department where one lady speaks French and explained that Italy has a maximum amount on credit card to be spend on a daily, weekly AND monthly base ! Which makes it difficult to pay for things since this maximum is rather low. Oh great, well I now need to pay a part and than drive back next week (3rd time in a month) to pay for the rest!

At 20.15 I was pushing the trolley on the deserted parking of Ikea that counted just one car ( as nice one, MINE) and all the other 10.000 cars were at home talking about that strange Dutch guy that could afford shopping there…

Why speeding is cool!

2008-04-07T19:12:00.001+02:00

The sleepy town of Bordighera has little crime figures and according to those little figures all seems to be small. The policemen and women are all SMALL, the fines are all SMALL (the paper not the amount), the police office is SMALL and as of yesterday I can add the above featured police car that is seriously SMALL. At first when I saw it I thought it was a joke, but that I noticed the two serious looking policemen in it. For them it was not a joke! Maybe one of the superior officers has taken the Team bonding exercise a little to far…

But the best thing of all is that it cannot do more than 45km per hour ! Try to catch me with that if you can ! It is of course environmentally friendly and entirely made out of a light plastic like material and it does have the all important blue flashing thingy on the top.
I do think that the local government deserves a prize for this initiative and the policemen driving it even more. In the country where you need to be seen, small is again beautiful!

Something different for a chance

2008-04-07T19:10:00.001+02:00

At my local espresso bar they serves (as mentioned before) not only coffee but also healthy drinks and even small sandwiches. Very handy when you are in a hurry and they are light too.

But today I had difficulties deciding and the place was full of people. The lady that was serving me suggested to take a look at the new sign that indicated all the varieties of food & beverages. As you can see they serve quiet a few things that are appealing but the Aperitivi Anal I think should be avoided at all costs! I stick to a coffee with an apple pie!

In the garden of Erwin - Part2

2008-04-04T17:53:00.002+02:00

Yesterday I introduced the readers to the exiting World of gardening but unfortunately I was not be able to find help from Rob&Nico, however I came across another person that might just do the trick. He looks like Sinterklaas with glasses and is probably just over 100 years old, but he is THE Garden Guru I need. His name? Hendrik Jan the Tuinman. He has written more books than Lou de Jong (well at least about gardening) and he created a range of tools that will make our lives easier and our wallets emptier.

As you can see on the picture, there is just no way you cannot trust the guy, he is like your grandfather and got the Nobel prize for Gardening… But it turns out that he is retired and only does guest speakers things for a huge fee to sponsor his green Hummer and 7 houses and not to forget his children. I reckon there is the key to success and yesterday I was contacted by an illegitimate child of Hendrik-Jan. She is called A.M. and offered her green fingers and apparently knows more about grass than Rob&Nico combined. It is quiet an honour of course but since Seborga is a Principality, it deserves an almost royal treatment.

The garden problem is solved I just need to get Intratuin to do a little bit of product placement in my garden to get some freebies. Now there is a challenge !

In the garden of Erwin

2008-04-03T18:36:00.004+02:00

Soon I will be launching myself in a new adventure together with my dad. We are going to take care of the garden design and make it look like we know what we are doing. My dad is of course the person who knows all about even the tree names in Latin so this is a good start.

However yesterday evening I thought that we might need some extra advise and thought about an illustrious Dutch duo that haunted my television for years; Rob & Nico. The were the presenters of a program that was called (translated) Own House and Garden. The one with the moustache was called Rob and he liked to get his hands dirty by sticking them in Gods earth. Nico was the handy man that always knew a solution but rather had a cup of coffee.

They were great at giving you advise about gardening and renovating but there was always a brand somewhere lurking around which made me feel like I was watching a product placement infomercial. Anyway, I thought let’s Google them. My first result gave me Rob. He has spend the last 5 years doing the same thing with at least 5 different co presenters (not Nico but a lady) shaved of his moustache and looks like he is now interested in women.

The second result was far more interesting. Nico was caught up in two law suits that in the end made it impossible for the Dynamic Duo to continue presenting the program and he left to live in Spain. What happened? Well, Nico took the handyman thing a little bit to literally and he could keep his hands of the women that were on the set. During the court case he provided evidence that this was not the case but lost dramatically when the lawyer showed up with his contract in which it was stated that he was not allowed to touch women, make sexual orientated jokes, fart (!) nor drink alcohol. Well, I guess I won’t get much help from them, but I have to say it makes gardening a lot less boring than I could imagine!

Vintage is Cool

2008-04-02T22:13:00.002+02:00

This afternoon I dropped by the petrol station to get...some petrol but I was quickly distracted when my eye caught the sight of a row of brightly coloured 'bubbles'. The petrol station owner is also a big car fan and in his free time he restores car and he had just finished 4 little Fiat 500 cars. They were all lined up and looking accross the street in search for an owner that would treat them well and feed them some petrol now and than and take them for a ride.

When taking a closer look it I really fell in love with them, so cute! They were all painted in colours that you dont see anymore nowadays and each of them is at least 40years old ! It is all very tiny inside and I felt like I entered a tin of Bonduelle beans but it just well more tastier. I didnt have time to really drive one of them to experience a car that changes gear only when you force it and goes as fast as your granny on a Rolator. Fully restored they dont come cheap up to 5.000 euros but they look a Million ! Oldtimers are really sending out a different message, a message that spells cool and laid back. The new version of the Fiat 500 is really well done but I still think it is far more cooler to have the original.

For the moment I will drive by them everyday to say hello and maybe one day, one of them will decide to join me and become cool again.

Cross town traffic

2008-04-01T21:17:00.003+02:00

Although Bordighera is rather small it is a melting pot of nationalities. This because many people that work in Monaco and surroundings prefer to live over here. When you really wish to meet them all than the best thing to do is go outside at around 19.00 when everybody arrives back from work and there is a line of big cars from Ventimiglia until Sanremo through Bordighera. Mixed in with these big cars there is the usual variety of funky looking Fiat 500, old and new and plenty of white taxis. Taxi are the same in each country, they drive very fast, have often drivers that speak many different languages apart from the ones you speak and either have crappy old Mercedes cars or brand spanking new ones, that I always seem to miss out on and of course they are all expensive.

However Bordighera is different and likes to make a difference. As you can see on the enclosed picture, Stelios eat your heart out, this is serious low budget taxi service with a difference. Try to squeeze yourself in the little basket or on the backseat (beware of the marriage material) and enjoy an environmental friendly trip back home. Don’t worry about the traffic jams, you will not be slowed down by this, maybe by the rather corpulent, sweaty Italian guy that is peddling…
Interested? Well, check out picture number two. This is the highly sophisticated reservation service. If the line is busy than you always have the little handset at your disposal.

And you were still wondering why I have chosen to live in Bordighera ?

Sweden to the Rescue

2008-03-31T23:26:00.001+02:00

With the house slowly taking shape there were a number of things to organise before it will be finalised. One of the most important issues is to get a kitchen and some bits and pieces of furniture. What better excuse than to check out the IKEA in Genova on a late Sunday afternoon. Only 1 hour and 15 minutes away (I drive quicker than Google Maps indication of 1h55) and let’s get crazy in Blue and Yellow land. It is quiet interesting to see that Ikea Italy has managed to give the store a little bit of an Italian touch, with an Espresso bar and Italian meals and as it looks like, a little bit more of designer things in the aisles.
They are open everyday until 20.00 and receive between 5.000 to 15.000 visitors per day !

I decided to get my office table and things for the guest room. With a nice bed and some funky bedcovers guests will be able to enjoy Ikea luxury and comfort at Seborga.
The kitchen will be for next week cos this is giving me headaches and frankly, it is too complicated to design the living room with a sitting area, fireplace, big windows but also a table to dine and an open kitchen ahhhhhhh Jean des Bouvries to the rescue!

Well at least these problems are more luxury problems and I guess in the end it will not matter too much since the good weather will force …Outside living !

The difference is..?

2008-03-29T15:35:00.001+01:00

Some people have raised eyebrows when I mentioned that I moved to Italy and purchased a house. To far from Nice and the airport, to far from anything that is lively etc etc. But the most frequent was; you will miss the good weather of the South of France.

Well to reassure all those optimistic people and the ones that are disappointed that their holiday address might not be as fun and sun as it used to be… Here is a picture of the view the coast line of Bordighera that, in my humble opinion, doesn’t look that bad after all.

With the sun and 18 degrees, I guess for the moment life is no different that the Cote d’Azur (that for the record is only 30 minutes away).
But I suspect that it just might be an attempt to get invited to Casa Bosco and experience the difference?! Let’s wait and see if the bookings for the upcoming summer will be as high as the temperature.

Voting for Dummies

2008-03-29T13:42:00.001+01:00

The elections in Italy are approaching and in all the towns, men with big bellies and jeans that always seem to slide down, set up metal frames. These frames are being used later on for each party to put its party campaign poster on it. Over the last couple of days these empty places have been filled up with colourful campaign poster of at least 7 different parties. When taking a closer look at them I noticed something ought… On the one from Berlusconi for instance, they show the party name and leader and the big logo but this one was crossed out.

Wow, in the sleepy town of Bordighera a fanatic non supporter of the big Berlu has staged a silent action against him. But the next day I noticed that all these posters seem to have it and at the end of the crossed lines there even is a sign that looks like a pen or pencil. Hang on, this is basically showing voters how to vote ! Dear Italian voter, please select our party by using a pen or pencil and use it to produce two lines that cross eachother in the middle. This is for sure indiot proof voting and I am sure that nobody will ask for any assistance.

Strange actually, when I voted for the first time at 18 years of age, I remembered a huge DJ like mix panel with all the names of the candidates and you just needed to push the button. I guess this would be to difficult to show on those election posters so the Italian still rely on old fashion methods to elect and another president to run the country.

Yoghurt Rules!

2008-03-29T13:38:00.002+01:00

I generally watch Italian television to start to learn the language and to understand the culture a bit more. This is of course quiet subtle but with a business eye I have spotted a new thing that I have not seen before in terms of commercials. Everybody know the classic commercial that takes around 30 seconds and generally served in between films or long programs. Well, the Italians are be able to squeeze an advert in during a football match when the referee is writing down the booking of a player. This on itself is not very remarkable but than there is the extended infomercial. I spotted that one when I was trying to watch “Who wants to be a millionaire’. The presenter announces the break and I am expecting plenty of commercial and there is only one. During which the presenter is present, although he has had a change of clothes.

The particular one I saw was filmed in a trendy living room with the presenter talking to a beautiful lady (of course not his wife) that feels hungry. He acts (and pretty lousy) that he has the solution and opens a SMEG fridge that is filled (top to bottom) with one type of yoghurt, he picks one and serves it to her. Apparently this yoghurt does more than many men have tried to achieve cos she seems to getting quiet excited about. MMMMMMMM, cremoso, mmmmm Buono etc etc. This yoghurt is providing her with an orgasmic sensation that of course was well-known to the presenter but now shared with us in an intimate environment. A final close up of the packaging and the slogan and we are back at the show. The presenter looks like nothing happened but it sort of feels that he has a lot of explaining to do to his wife.

This type of infomercial is close to hidden camera programs that show cheating husbands, although that never involves yoghurt and the presenter of a quiz show.

Wake up and smell the business!

2008-03-29T13:35:00.002+01:00

Over the last period, JuniorSenior and yours truly have been chasing potential clients from St Tropez to Milan and this with varied success. One of the main problems we encountered was the extremely long decision making process, sometimes of budgets that were hardly worth waiting for (although EVERY budget for me is worth waiting for) but this week was no different up till the later part of the week, during which all of a sudden everybody seemed to wake up and wanted to get us to work for them. This is a luxury position and we are fortunate to be in this position and therefore gladly accepted a luxury real estate group, a golf and spa resort, a wireless IT provider for yachts and a luxury brand of shoes and if all goes according to plan a prestigious university !

However the result of the bursting pipeline we are now faced with a list of very sharp deadlines and a queue at creative studio but we are not complaining. This what it is all about, hard work and good preparation and now we have to show them that we are the creative and innovative agency that we claim to be. A new challenge but this is the challenge that makes our work interesting and worthwhile.

Maybe in the near future we will install those red ticket dispensers that we had before at the bakery and call our clients… Number 17; Nike, please move through to window number 7. Number 18; Rolex, window number 8 is ready to take care of your adverts. Nah, that would take away the excitement of getting and signing a client! No tickets here, just a crazy Dutchman in a pink rocket …

Scratch your parking time

2008-03-29T13:32:00.001+01:00

Today I had a meeting in Sanremo at 11.00 and I drove slowly along the sunny coast line listening to the latest live CD of Muse (not song number 11). When I arrived at rue Verdi where my meeting would take place, I spotted a fantastic parking space completely empty and I parked with a big smile, what a good start ! I got out of the car in search of the parking meter. Well, strangely enough, where ever I looked, nothing to be found. On the other parked cars I didn’t see any printed tickets so I guess I was safe. The meeting carried on for almost 45 minutes until the client proposed to have a coffee in the local bar to conclude the meeting.

We walked outside and a pink piece of paper was flapping on the front screen of my car. Black and pink, not a bad colour scheme but something told me that this spelled …parking ticket. Indeed it was. My client felt pity for me and paid for the coffee during which he explained the procedure. When you park there you need to go to the nearest newspaper shop ( in this case at least 5 minutes walk) where you buy a big carton card. This card has many different part that you need to scratch like the ones you use for making money.

The opened boxes correspond to the time you are staying there. This card you need to put in the car and will prevent it for being fined. Welcome to the Parking Lottery ! Mr Bos, come on down and scratch your parking time ! A funny story that costs me 36 euros, but after a quick evaluation I decided to file this pink paper in the nearest bin. Sometimes it serves its purpose to life in Italy but drive a car with French licence plates.

A solution is needed...and quick!

2008-03-24T17:39:00.002+01:00

This afternoon I chilled a bit working at my 'stam cafe', preparing the upcoming week. After some bevarages of the espresso kind a visit to the toilet is a more than logic result. The place is quiet stylish and the toilet area is no different. However since it seems that today the whole of Italy has decided to visit my 'quiet office' I fear for the worst and I am not dissapointed. When I push the door open it is clear that there have been a number of people before me that are as good at aiming as Stevie Wonder. What is it with men? Do we have problems to focus? Do we get messages when we do our thing that says 'more to the left or right?". Is the toilet round not round enough or not large enough? Do I need to start wearing rubber boots everytime I go to the loo? For Pete's sake, there must be a solution !

I have taking things in hand (!) and decided after I surf my way back to my table to find a solution! A solution that guarantees that every men is be able to aim better and prevent us from wearing rubber boots.
A quick search on the internet learned me that this is a world problem, something that keeps heads of state awake when they dont speak about hunger, war or global warming. Many things have been tried, incrusted flies in the porcelain that makes you want to aim for it or a urinoir in the shape of big friendly lips (of the upper kind) but nothing has succeeded to get a solution.

I simple reckon it is a size problem. Men are just always busy and thinking about three things at the time (cars, women and football, give it a try it is not easy). The solution is a bigger toilet that will enable men to think and do their thing.
And I am happy to contribute to the solution because I have been able to find the manufacturer of the only toilet that will solve this problem.
As you can see in the picture, this one is currently tested in Orlando with lots of success and we all know that if it works in the States it will be easy for us.

Today, I have send off an email to the company for a trial toilet seat that can be installed in the South of France and enable the French to be at the leading front of the wee industry! For sure something Sarkozy was waiting for, just my apologies to him in advance cos it might be a bit too high for him...

Seborgian Food Fest

2008-03-24T15:16:00.002+01:00

What better occasion to be wished for as Easter Sunday to check out the gastronomic skills of the ‘Il Principe” in Seborga. Upon entry, the welcome was very friendly, what else would you expect? We are among Seborghini ! The host of the evening Mr Ferrari (no really) also the Minister of Foreign Affairs indicated the table with a massive stomach move that indicated that the word ‘diet’ is not part of the Seborghini vocabulary. After a small chat with him, I quickly found out that he was the ex owner of the plot of land where the house is been built. That makes the decision easy tonight for leaving a tip… Mr Ferrari recommended the tourist menu, which is not that heavy and covers the things that Seborga is famous for which.

So to kick off the meal, I got a huge plate with all types of meat, salad and grilled vegetables, very tasty indeed. Moving swiftly on the next plate was of the same size and had home made ravioli in sauce Bolognese, not very gastronomic as a choice but I loved it. With a bit of time for another small chat he explained that Seborga is rather serious about their independence and that was clearly visual when the waiter showed her jumper with on her arm the flag of Seborga. It all sounded and felt a bit like Corsica but less violent!

Ready for the next phase? Bring it on! Seborga rabbit, a big bowl filled with three huge pieces of rabbit in fresh tomatoes and olives and served with small cubes of potatoes, oufff this is serious stuff.
I almost finished the dish but my stomach seemed to start to imitate that of the owner and I was still one stage away from the final coffee. Mr Ferrari asked if all was well and invited me to have a look at the desserts. Not the card but a huge table in the middle of the room that offered a variety of desserts that much have made Willy Wonka jealous. I decided to go for the pear cake that seemed a less heavy option than the strawberry meringue.

A nice piece of cake that normally is drenched in Calvados but I decided to leave that to him. (he moved to the corner of the restaurant and had two pieces) The coffee was a welcome end to a huge meal but unfortunately a coffee brand with a strange taste, but I have to admit that my bodily functions as well as my head was kind of busy dealing with the amount of food that I was given. I staggered to the car (had my picture taken with the Minister of course) and had a quick look at the house that was covered in darkness and silence. What a meal and what a village! What will have it in store for me next ?

Weekly Casa check-up

2008-03-22T21:45:00.001+01:00

Saturday afternoon, after the storm, was bright and sunny and perfect to visit the house. As always I was curious to see what has been done and what hasn’t. Upon arrival I noticed straight away that the windows and doors have been placed in the house and it gives it a more ready feel to it! The staircases have been finished with the black Italian stones and a number of little walls have been built to indicate the different gardens.

When I enter the house I find a big pile of parquet on the floor which has not been used. The workers explain that the floor is still not dry enough so I need to wait a bit more. The bath tube has arrived and also the shutters, but my God, the colour ! The shutters are Hulk inspired and can be seen in the dark from at least Cannes. Who the hell is in charge of the colour schemes? Is there some kind of architect taking the Mickey out of me??? The good thing is that the window frames and shutters are of solid wood and not plastic but I really don’t understand the colour. Well, I guess this is something that is kind of an acquired taste, something that will grow on you. For the moment they are placed inside the house and that is kind of handy because they brighten up the room…

But apart from that it looks like things are moving, with literally 3 weeks from the proposed date, things are taking shape. But it is clear that they will never finish it all before the 15th although, to be honest I never really believed in that. They have an additional 30 days to get things sorted before the penalty clause will kick in and that I am sure they are not to keen on. In any case tomorrow I will have another look before diner at the gastronomic restaurant of Seborga. Run by the always smoking, big moustached signor that is also the Minister of Foreign affairs. I am not making it up but in the Principality of Seborga everybody is taking this very seriously. Naturally I support the same cause ! Free Seborga !

Stormy Bordighera

2008-03-22T21:43:00.001+01:00

On Friday I was working from my temporary office on the beach front of Bordighera. It is a peaceful place where you can get a lot of work done and they serve some great coffee and whisper when they do so, to not disturb you. It has a nice view on the seafront and it will be a perfect place to relax in the summer time when the sun has arrived. At the end of the afternoon the colour outside turns to something greyish almost like a smog effect before soon the wind start to show his force. It is amazing within minutes the whole place is activated and chairs are being put aside and door are closed, people speak to each other as if judgment day is upon them.

I continue to work and don’t really pay attention until I hear a strange sound… I look outside and the plastic castle for the kids is blown into the air and it seems like the wind is really showing off. On the funny side, the birds and seagulls are floating against the wind and basically drop like stones in the sea when the wind turns. People enter the place with their clothes and air completely blown into a different shape. It is almost 19.30 and the owner starts to get worried that nobody will take the effort and go down to the restaurant. I reckon it is a good time to leave and prepare myself for the worst.

The wind is blowing fiercely and the waves collide against the rocks, it feel pretty cool and I start running like a small kid. Trying to beat the forces of nature, even as an adult isn’t easy but great fun !
I try to make some pictures but the wind kind of makes its hard to get a well focussed one and I run back home. On the way back I pass several restaurants…they are all completely full with people and it looks like the Italians need a little bit more to move them away from their food and favourite restaurants!

Just hanging

2008-03-21T16:24:00.002+01:00

With the Easter weekend close and the stomach already pretty well accustomed to plenty of chocolate Easter eggs I was wondering what the weekend has to offer.
The weather is apparently not going to be great, rather grey and windy and there will be a fast increase of tourists visiting Bordighera so it might be better to just leave. But where to and what to do? I had a quick look at some of the travel websites and there is really nothing interesting that is worth pursuing. Having said so, I looked at a website that offers more interesting packages than your average travel agent. Go hunting in Kazakhstan and you can shoot with basically anything (tanks are not included), sounds like fun…

Than there is a weekend and which you can relax and meditate… well that is maybe after I had my mint tea.. which for the moment is not winning it from the espresso. The last and final option seemed extreme but a life changing experience, combining suffering and cleansing of the soul, interesting and you don’t need to bring your own cross ! Excuse moi? Well, the voyage will take you to the Philippines, upon arrival you will get your crucifix and a bunch of nails.

The travel agent has found some capable men that will hammer you on it and stick you in the ground. Don’t worry the view apparently is wonderful and your are facing south so you might get a tan too. There even is a doctor on site that can give you a tetanus injections, cos the nails are maybe a bit dirty. So having been nailed on the crucifix you can admire the scenery and contemplate your life and the changes you want to make to. I am sure that your first thought will be…change of travel agent ! But than again, he has enabled you to experience something that not many have experienced before and it will certainly bring you close to Him. (even more if you don’t take the tetanus injection)

Have a good Easter and just read a book or so.

The smell of success

2008-03-18T21:57:00.002+01:00

During days when you drive up and down the coast, doing presentation after presentation, write some articles and debriefs you are basically doing the thing you like to do, which is for me something useful. However in the little time during which you have some time to spare I read lots of newspapers and sometimes read about big events that are being attended by lots of people and even get a fair share of media coverage. They are generally held in the USA and have low access barriers (eg idiots can participate too) which is very democratic and often quiet funny.
The world champion hot dog eating this year is American (what a surprise) and he is generally proud of it.

The Canadians are often in direct competition with the USA but tend to take things to a higer level up til today ! Vermont organised...one sec...The Annual 'Odor Eaters Rotten Sneaker Contest'. Yes, you can imagine the smell of success here...
Who comes up with these ideas and who participates? The wonders of the world I guess.
But it must be a releave to the Americans that there is a contest they can beat the Canadians at and I am looking forward to see the Hot Dog champ to give this one a go. I bet that it involves lots of training (and trainers) Redbull and maybe they should be tested on EPO and of course the illegal use of stinkbomb and acid. But I guess Dr Rachel Herz, author of Scent of Desire (shown on the picture) has all this covered. Oh dear, I will stick to doing meetings.

A view to a kill

2008-03-17T19:16:00.002+01:00

Sunday as mentioned was the weekly meeting with Casa Bosco during which I inspect the place as if I was Bob the Builder and know all the ins and outs of the building procedures... The excitement of actually visiting the place has become rather an affaire of 'what will I find this time'. Each time the access road to the house is changed and blocked by a huge piece of metal and a plastic sheet to indicate that this is private property. Entering the house I notice that the only thing they have done is putting black stone pavements on the inside of the doors and window frames. Oufff, that is a scary when I am one month away from getting the key.

However the house is 'en plein soleil' and its warm and quiet and the view! With about 20 degrees and a clear sky the view is breathtaking and makes my worrying less important. I sat down on the corner of my garden and have a good look at the house. Strange, soon this will be mi casa and I have to take of the garden and decide where to put the teak table and connect my WIFI access. Oh yes and the tiny question of ....what kitchen to buy, which desk and cupboard to order and all the electronic appliances that makes our life easier! Maybe afterall it isnt so bad that things will take some extra time to finish because I am not ready at all :)

Grand Prix de Bordighera

2008-03-16T16:30:00.004+01:00

The Formula 1 season has started and the Italians are obviously very excited to support their Rosso Ferrari and newspapers covered with interviews ( I think the only person of Ferrari that has not been interviewed is the cleaner) and the images on the television add another dimension to it. But since the start of the season is in Australia, the city of Bordighera decided to take it a bit closer to home. For this reason they have organised the GP Bordighera for.... dirt bikes. You know, the motor cycles that make a sound like they have been eating Chili Con Carne all year round! Nothing wrong with these bikes but this year it enduro, meaning ...through the city and even better just under my window and small balcony.

I think it was God that created Sunday to be a day of rest but he forgot to mention this to the Bordighera people cos this morning at 8.30 I had 100 bikes going up and down the road like there was no tomorrow. Sleeping became impossible and I was tempted to built a big speed bump in the road but decided against since they would probably only like it!

Since the weather was great a visited to the house in Seborga was a good escape plan.
Got in the car and tried to open the gate that normally lets me escape Bordighera but today decided that I wouldnt ! After having checked the gate several times the solution came in disguise of an old lady that took some tissue paper and started to rub the sensor on the gate and...voila, the opened! I guess you need to rub it the right way and that takes experience.

So, it was off to Seborga to take the progress (which was not a lot) and than a little bit of email and debrief work at the local beach house before heading off to Monaco to enjoy another classical evening with the philharmonic orchestra of Monaco.
This beats the noise of the dirtbikes and figures crossed that it will be over by the time the concert is over.

Full throttle

2008-03-14T22:53:00.001+01:00

I just arrived at home, its about 21.30 and I am still smiling after a crazy week ‘at the office’. This week I had several important meetings, some to present JuniorSenior some to discuss how and what we will do for them. This meant that I was clocking up quiet a few kilometres between Cagnes, Nice, Monaco, Italy, Cannes, Grasse and that several times. The advantage of driving to meetings is the time you have in the car to make calls and scribble ideas on a note pad. And in the evening it is good to drive back when its dark, with some good lounge music to relax and of course test the power of my engine. (just for the record mum, no I didn’t do more than 180km)

At the (home)office there are plenty of emails to be answered and new prospects to be added to the list. Its hard work, doing 100 things at the same time and trying to stay focussed but its all great fun and very often the contact with the clients are very rewarding. This week was not different but we managed to crack some hard clients nuts (well not literally) and make them want to work with us! We had strange meetings with smart and professional business men who often are a bit blinded by their ambition.

But also meetings with people that complimented us for sticking with them and never giving up. Obviously doing business and being an entrepreneur is all about that; never giving up, staying focussed and positive and when you are down just get up again and try again. Clients and potential clients see and feel this and since they have started in a similar way they appreciate this and support this. The support being given us the chance to do business with them. In the end it is of course up to us to proof that we are the company we say we are but we are a bunch of highly motivated, stubborn but dedicated people that deliver! So after a such a week, during which we break speed barriers and push each other to the limit, we need a little break that is called weekend.

But well… I have another meeting on Saturday so Sunday will do than. I guess it is all about investing yourself but when you like what you do, that isn’t bad at all and it will all pay off in the end! But for now…SLEEP!

The principality welcome you...

2008-03-13T22:14:00.002+01:00

Although I am still almost a month away from getting the key of the house things are moving forward. Today I got the paperwork by email to become a full resident of the principality of Seborga. What an honour for a simple Dutchman like moi. The document was send by my real estate guy and is just an A4 paper which indicates my desire to enter the principality and become a member of this elite society, well I guess that’s marketing Seborga style.

It will also mean that now I will become entitled to pay tax in Italy which is for many a flexible thing and a sport to find ways of paying as less as possible. The election of Berlusconi would be the icing on the cake for many so all eyes are on the upcoming elections.

For me it will be different cos I have the Prince to elect and to honour and get my own flag to put up in the garden, Seborghinis are proud people.
They have been fighting for over 60 years to get their independence ( I support this case strongly cos it will mean….no more taxes) and they even have an army. But don’t invade Seborga in the morning cos the butcher and grocery store owners are than attending to business.

Well I will now sign off the documents and wait if they will accept me, although I have good potential according to the mayor. When I marry somebody and get two kids I will increase the total population with 10%. Bless them !

By the way, the motto of Seborghini is ; 'Sub umbra sedi' which is Latin for "Sit in the shade' I guess that says it all :)

Baby you can drive my car

2008-03-11T23:09:00.000+01:00

I like to be in Monaco and just sit on a terrace and observe the people walking by, the cars, the yachts, but I don’t really have the time for it.
Today however the weather was great and my meeting was on the terrace next to Maxim’s and a great place for coffee and funny things.

My meeting was a bit late and I ordered a coffee in advance and started to have a look at the people passing. As usual there were many elderly couples, well dressed and carrying ridiculous looking small dogs in even more ridiculous expensive carrier bags. Than there are of course the women of the rich Monaco based businessmen that have the extremely hard task to spend theirs husbands (or lover) money quicker than the price of a barrel of oil is raising.

It is a skill and they feed it every day with grace and skill. Observing them closely it almost felt like they are under pressure to spend more, quicker and on sillier things than their colleague gold digger friend… Switching my attention to cars than. In Monaco you can basically see any type of car Before it comes on the market and although Monaco is only 2km2 and has a speed limit of 50km, the amount of fast and seriously expensive cars is mind boggling.

Some are old timers that are being driving by an eccentric millionaire that is really having a laugh. Than there are the Ferrari’s in all colours (yellow is nouveau riche and spells bad taste) and of course the cars that are so special that they make heads turns and traffic stop. But for me the funniest things are the 4x4. The Hummers, Cayenne, Mercedes G etc etc are so big and getting bigger every time that Monaco is having to change its parking spaces to cater for them. However the thing that makes me smile the most is the drivers, women that go shopping in these cars but generally drive tiny cars or no car at all.

This causes many situations that make me smile. A huge Cayenne stucked in the last corner of the parking, a Hummer that takes up three parking spaces and takes the lady 20 attempts to get it parked. But the best one remains a lady that drives a large Bentley that is so complicated for her to drive that when she is in the port of Monaco she parks it at the Riva garage (boats!!!) and smiles to the workers and each day there is a lucky worker that gets to turn around the car and take the corner that she is not be able to take. Only in Monaco !

Don't drink and network !

2008-03-11T23:07:00.000+01:00

Monday night I was in Monaco for a cocktail that was attended by over 200 important decision makers and ceo’s (do I count myself among them….) The evening kicked off at 18.30 but you never be there at the real start, that would be to eager… So at 18.45 I entered the Sea Club at the Meridien Hotel, gave my invitation and kissed my way into the crowd. (In the South kissing is still a big thing and I am not against it) After having spend almost 8 years here I know quiet a few people and its always nice to see each other at this event. Naturally there are also the people to avoid but in the end you will still meet them, shake hands and move on.

As my entry in the JuniorSenior is still fresh, people are curious and exchanging business cards and explain and reply to many questions is actually good fun.
An other important part is that at cocktails the food is generally not bad at all (but I never seem to be able to eat) and the drinks are open bar, meaning, you can drink as much as you like, in my case that is a lot of San Pel! However, the people I was talking to persuaded me to have a glass of champagne and I made an exception to my non drinking rule. Continuing explaining and getting used to my almost Italian like use of gestures I manage to slam the glass out of my hand and on the floor. A suit covered in Moet and glass everywhere, a fantastic way of getting attention…

Funnily enough one of the main reason to attend was getting to know the new decision makers and there were a few on my list. However one I could find at all up till a nice lady handed me a napkin to get rid of the bubbles on my suit. “Nice to see you again Erwin’ oh dear, the thing I fear the most. People that know me but I cannot remember their name. Think Think Think. Say, sorry for the glass, you can put it on the bill, I joked, realizing that it was the head of the Meridien events department. She smiled and said, I was looking for you to present the new director of the group (marketing). Fantastic, that was the person I couldn’t find!

A friendly looking lady give me her card and hand and we exchange a couple of words….and realizing very quickly that she is …Dutch ! Great, 5 minutes later, I have one important person less to meet and a meeting set up for the next week, I guess broken glass brings luck after all!

National Women Day

2008-03-09T15:57:00.002+01:00

Yesterday it was international women day something which is being celebrated in many countries and generally involves flowers and a nice diner. But when I turned on the tv in the morning to have a look at the news, I saw pictures of a face so familiar to many in France and beyond. The face belonged to Ingrid Betancourt, the Franco Colombian hostage taken by the FARC about 6 years ago. A lady that I didn’t know very well before but when you read about her and what she has tried to do for her country you can only admire her and support her cause. Seeing those images in the morning I thought that she might have been released, as a number of other hostages have been over the last months, but unfortunately this wasn’t true.

They showed pictures of a once strong woman that now looked frail and without any hope for release, although I think she is probably still stronger than she appears to be.

The released hostages have made comments about her being ill and in need of medical support but it seems like the Farc is not willing to hand over their most valuable hostage not even when the French president is making it his priority.
National women day might be a big marketing effort of the companies to get in more revenue and it probably is but when you really look at the essence of that day, I think of her.

After the interviews with her family and friends, the documentaries that were on French television I think that she embodies a strong woman that is/was trying to make change happen and fight for it and even more die for it! That is something many political leaders now a day lack, real determination to make a change and fight for what they believe in. With elections in Italy, France and the USA, this fight is something all those political leaders should take a lesson from and make politics issues something to fight for. I sincerely hope that one day she will have that chance to make a difference and proof to everybody that having the will power and a strong fighting spirit can make a difference!

Ingrid Betancourt is for me the woman that should have been celebrated yesterday.

Italian women revenge

2008-03-07T22:14:00.002+01:00

Italy's highest appeal court has ruled that married Italian women who commit adultery are entitled to lie about it to protect their honour.

The court gave its landmark ruling after hearing the case of a 48-year-old woman, convicted of giving false testimony to police by denying she had lent her mobile phone to her lover.

The appeal court did not agree that she had broken the law.

It said bending the truth was justified to conceal extra-marital relationships.

I guess that after all the sweet talking Italian men, with sun glasses and mobile phones are getting slightly worried that women have changed the rules of the game.
And they managed to confirm it all in court!

The country keeps amazing me everyday, but today I guess it is 1-0 for all Italian women on the scale of revenge.

After lunch delight

2008-03-06T21:29:00.002+01:00

No secrets here but it has been long known that I appreciate an espresso now and than.But having previously entered into a world of espresso, where drinking an espresso standing at the bar is not a simple gesture but a ritual. I recently walked into a new and funky looking café bar called Dersut, Bottega della caffe, and had a chat with the owner. As it turned out, they were not actually open yet, but the pestering sales man in me, apparently guaranteed a friendly welcome.

He quickly showed me around and the smell of coffee was already making me want to come back. This I have done several times since and I have even become a member of it which entitles me to have the friendly ‘Ciao !” when I enter the bar and after 10 visits a 100 grams of the best beans they could find. Good enough reason to come back!

But where I initially showed up to drink a simple espresso during lunch hours, I now got curious and found out that they offer plenty fresh fruits mixes and even better…funky coffees.

Si, si, Italians don’t stop at a simple espresso or capuchino, they have a wide variety that will keep you awake for the rest of the month. Today I entered the shop and waited patiently to order my espresso, just behind the local police officers. You know the type, cool sunglasses, tight fitted uniform with leather boots and a revolver that looks like a third leg at those tiny police officers and of course a funky well trimmed beard. They order a coffee that sounded very complicated and made the lady go and pick up a small machine and a number of bottles with strange looking liquid in it.

Did I discover an illegal trade of something? Is the police in Bordighera addicted? When the drink was finished, I will spare you the details but it involved a whole mix of handlings, the policemen smiled and drank it peacefully. This was so intriguing that when it was my turn, I said in real Meg Ryan style ; I’ll have what they are having! The lady behind the bar smiled like the well kept secret was being prepared for the Virgin coffee drinker from Holland. When the steaming glass was put on the counter, there was just one order; no zucchero, just turn with spoon! Ok, that’s easy. When I finally was be able to drink it, half the shop was observing me and I was scared that the police officer would arrest me but he smiled and said, c’est tres bon. Aller, lets go for it!

Mmmm, a mix of coffee, crème de café and some other things rather sugary but a great taste! I smiled and the people in the bar were all relieved and continued talking. I need to have this again, they only problem is… I have no idea how to pronounce it!

I go wacko !

2008-03-05T18:57:00.001+01:00

Stress, work overload, too busy personal life all these things are apparantly ingredients to become mad! If you read the number of articles about people suffering from the above mentioned things you wonder how we at JrSr still stay on top of it all….

Well its simple; we are just wacko’s ! Or maybe a bit clearer..we eat wacko’s !
And if you join us at the forthcoming BCC event (www.bccriviera.com) you will understand things even better cos the theme is….You are what you eat!
Well I have recently discoved Wacko’s in all shapes and form and flavours and I have become a real Wacko, ever since! Its all very eye catching, with the packaging of each flavour you will see a potato head that is just completely silly! And in this world ( Il mondo di Wacko’s) there is space for everybody and stress and being busy is simply avoided by the taste of for instance the gusto Paprika. Of course you will only get a bit of those VIPs (Very Important Potatoes) and I have to say, it does wonders for potato kind.

So, if you are feeling stressed or you are just ready to become part of Wacko mondo, than just drive across the border and get your bag of crisp ! But be warned, once you go wack, you never go back !

Italian birthday

2008-03-03T21:21:00.000+01:00

Tomorrow it will be one month since I have become an Italian residant and today I was thinking what I am missing in terms of Nice, France.
After a long think, no reason to be negative, I realised that I am missing my brioche and pain au cereal and Bon Mama rhubarb jam and maybe the occasional visit to Chez Gesu or the Barachois. It sounds that I am food obsessed but these are I guess the things you miss when you leave a place where food is so important.

But apart from these negative food facts I am really enjoying the life here. The people seem to be more friendly and open than in Nice and I cant say that they don’t like food like the French.

Certain things are of course still challenging, the language is not that easy and with all the channels on tv in Italian and no foreign news papers around I am obliged to force feed myself with the Italian language and that is actually great fun!

But what did I actually learn?

• Shouting is a proper way of communicating,
• Scrubs in Italian is almost as fun as in English,
• good coffee is cheap and comes in 100 shapes,
• internet connection is not and complicated to get it to work,
• Italians recycle but the bins always seem to be full
• football is like oxygen – don’t try to take it away cos they will kill you,
• fruit and veggies are fresh and have flavour,
• Italian bread is so light, they sell it to you with a cord attached,
• money under the table is a law, Berlusconi will confirm it soon
• singing on television is good as long as the presenter is blond, female and
good looking, cleavage is a plus
• tv commercials are about food, cleaning and telephones,
• a Fiat Punto can do 160 on the motorway,
• Italian police officers get special beard trimming lessons,
• Waving your hands and making gestures gets you airmiles, apparently…

And the list goes on and on ! Enough material to stay put and bore everybody again with my stories !

Progress is a state of mind

2008-03-03T21:18:00.001+01:00

I have never been in the lucky position as to see your house being built before your own eyes. At times it is stressful and frustrating but this is soon taken care off with the excitement of where to install the kitchen and office and which part of the garden will be for the pizza oven.

However a new built property can also give you headaches in terms of what you can and cannot do. When I purchased the house, I put down a list of 7 changes that for me were primordial to get the house turned into my Casa. 5 of these points were approved and the others I can do a little bit later. With the interior design it will therefore be a real place that is almost like a tailor made shirt! And I do like my shirts !

But there are always problems, so Sundays are the days when I spend at least one hour on site inspection every corner of the house and keeping a close I on the progress.

This Sunday was no different and with a nice sunshine and splendid view on the sea I slided down the not yet prepared road of my house. First surprise …a huge hole in the garden that was being filled up with bottles of beer, metal frames and wood pieces, generally things you put in the ground to grow a tree of beer … Moving on I noticed that the inside was moving forward with about 100 meters of electric cables sticking out of the wall, a gadget environment needs a fair share of wires ! The outside wall offered yet another surprise. On the brick wall 5 colours were displayed; a Yellow like a banana, Orange like Easyjet, Red like a Ferrari etc, The thought that one of these colours would be for the outside wall made me a bit scared. I would see the headlines in the Seborga Gazetta; Mr Bos signs a product placement deal with Easyjet and turns house in a orange flagship. Luckily there were still some workers around and I asked one of them if this was what I thought? ….I was right! Oh dear, I think a chat with the architect would be a good idea, even more when I try to get from one part of the garden to the other side and there is no staircase, just 2 meters of space.

Progress is being made but it would be rather annoying if the house is fantastic but the only downside is …you can see the house from Nice!
Newly built is certainly not boring and I don’t regret it at all but you have to be ready for those surprises and know ways to persuade the builders to change their ideas.
(flower tiles in the kitchen mmmm) but they are a good bunch of workers and if they don’t progress quick enough they can always get the help of some Polish workers.

Lesson 5

2008-02-26T23:07:00.002+01:00

Bidet
Never think that you have covered all areas, always look behind… Well, in the Italian integration process I soon found out that you don’t mess with a bidet.
At the planning process of the house they are building I had the opportunity to make changes and the one I really wanted was to get rid of the bidet.

When I mentioned this to the agent, architect and builders, I was looked at if I just said that Mussolini was a great leader. They were disgusted! No bidet? A bidet is what Italian has been built upon. I was still in my denial phase you I pushed the decision through. Until I had to sign the formal documents at the notary office. In a very posh place I was facing an elderly notaire that didn’t speak a word of English. My agent was translation and things went smoothly, until the he stopped and looked up with a strange facial expression; NO BIDET? Oh my God, him too. He explained that if the place was in Torino for instance he was not allowed to continue the Final Act since the house didn’t have a bidet, he quoted a real law article.

I reassured that the place was not there and that I do take showers and wash my hand and it he smiled slightly and carried on. I guess I am never be able to resell the house or become a real Italian but in any case I enjoyed 5 lessons that made me taste a little bit of the Dolce Vita.

Lesson 4

2008-02-26T23:06:00.000+01:00

Patience
Any person considering taking all lesson should pay particular attention to lesson
4. Patience is something you need in truck loads. My worst experience was getting a modem for my laptop. A relatively simple request which only took 10 days to get a solution that works at the speed of 56K, crashes my pc, makes me travel from town to town and finally connected, the sales person told me that it needed to be activated and that was for the next day.

A typical Italian shopkeeper is friendly put prefers to sell and move on. His or his argument is simple; the solutions work and if they don’t…its my fault and the often tend to add the word stupido to it. Getting angry, shouting (I am learning) and making gestures is not helpful, you just need to search until you find a solution and than don’t bother explaining it to them because they will reply; I told you so.
My advise it to visit shops early in the morning, so that you have the rest of the day to fix what they suggested as solution.

Lesson 3

2008-02-26T23:05:00.000+01:00

Food
Ask an Italian about where to eat and you will be obliged to take half a day off and bring a note book. Every Italian has his favourite restaurant but added sub categories to it.

The best restaurant in different cities, the best pizza, the best pasta, the best fish dishes, the best ice creams, the best coffee. The list goes on and on and in many cases you be better off just walking into a restaurant that has lots of shouting people…clearly a sign that this restaurant is offering a real Italian experience. Just one tip, don’t go when there is a football match.

The whole place will be rearranged with neatly placed chairs and the whole restaurant is packed with men of all ages, staring at a huge LCD screen and being silent…until the referee makes a mistake or there is a goal. I watched it from outside and it really made me realize that the zoo is actually quiet close by.

Lesson 2

2008-02-26T23:04:00.002+01:00

Television
As in many cultures, television has become an important piece of furniture in a home and for Italy this is no different. Or is it? Well, I have spend one week watching tv at different moments in time and one thing became clear. Italy has redefined a television experience with three ingredients that are used in abundance; Quiz shows, Women and Football.

However not just like that, a Quiz show runs for at least 4 hours, involves a lot of singing, short men and tall women and nobody seems to be able to win a prize. The second ingredient should be the first because Italy loves its women. They are all tall, blond, show a lot of cleavage and have enjoyed numerous visits to the Nip/Tuck doctors. Final part is Football or Calcio. Are the Italians passionate about football? Well, I have never seen a program on television that runs for three hours with a panel of specialists that analyses the last football matched without showing any footage of the actual match ! This is prime time and even considerated intellectual, it clearly shows again that Italians just love to talk!

Lesson 1

2008-02-26T23:04:00.001+01:00

The language
In order to blend in quickly and become a real Italian you have to learn the language, or that is what my simple mind thought. No, Italians have a different language; the language of Shout and Gesture. To get your point across in any conversation you need to start talking louder and louder until the state of being Italian, which for us equals ….Shouting.

Naturally shouting is not enough, you have to use you hands. While the average European is only be able to use of finger for a gesture, Italians can do this with 10! So much skills that not even their mobile phones drop on the floor or their sunglasses move from their nose.

But I have to add they always have style doing in. Something my ‘learn Italian in 3 months’ book never mentioned but I have to admit I am only at page 10.

How to become Italian

2008-02-26T23:03:00.000+01:00

The following stories will highlight what it takes to become an Italian. They are all based on real experiences and have therefore been tested and approved by OrangeEmpire laws.

Off air

2008-02-25T20:59:00.002+01:00

Yes indeed, I guess you having been missing the OrangeEmpire bits but the Italian telecom powers decided to challenge my patience and invent solutions that didnt work or even worse damage my computer. However giving up is not part of my dictionnary and Alice has shown me her hand and I mentioned to 'connect' with it!

Over the coming very late evenings I will update you all on the Bosa Nostra in Seborga and Bordighera and add some pics too.

Some more patience and soon you can say again ; a story a day makes the boredom stay away... Well, I will give a good run for its money :)

Italian Weekend Wonders

2008-02-11T13:15:00.001+01:00

The weekend was spend discovering the area, visiting a newly opened coffee bar that also served healthy fruit cocktails, grocery shopping and...a visit to future Casa Bosco.

I headed towards the project and climbed over a fence to get to my house, or better use of words, construction. It is slowly taking shape and honestly it is hard to imagine that it all will be finished in 2 months (which I guess will be impossible but lets stay positive) I guess the workers are having a good time after work cos I tripped over a bunch of beer bottles that were laying on the floor. Probably the only bottles that will ever lay there so I guess there are taking advantage of the situation...

The old stone walls are raising up and its really looks cool with the beautiful sunshine and sea view and everywhere you look the Mimosa trees. The vibe is good and it can only get better and each future will certainly add to the excitement !

I drove further on to the city center of Seborga where there are 3 main restaurants that share the village square and although I couldnt see inside, the noise coming out of them was massive! A bunch of very expensive Bentleys from Monaco, a group of 4x4 drivers and many tourist doubled easily the population and made it a vibrant place.
A quick look on the menu told me that I soon will be checking things out; speciality rabbit!

The local habitants smile and greet the tourist, wow, is this possible? Or is somebody behind my back stealing my car?.... Nope, the locals enjoy the attention the village gets and appreciate it by being friendly, French people please take note!

On the way down I was smiling and happy to have taking the 'jump' into a new adventure, when a car blocked me...My apologies sir, It was the Prince ! Licence plate SB 001 ! He waived and I felt proud to be a member of the principality.

Italian Socket Challenge

2008-02-11T13:13:00.000+01:00

Next morning I was dreaming of have a nice coffee with breakfast to kick iff the day with a punch. My Gaggia felt happier back on his native sole and was eager to produce some of the black gold its famous for. I took the cable and tried to put the plug in the socket....impossible! The socket holes were too tiny to fit a coffee bean in.

Checking other cables it soon became clear that nor my coffee machine, pc, kettle, ect ect was not fitting in this piccolo italian socket. Got on my bike cycled into the town in search of a hardware store that understand my socket challenge. At the beginning of the mainstreet there was a big hardware store selling everything from plastic handbag holders to electronic security chain cutters. The owner sort of understood my question and showed me to the back of the store, to face a huge wall that had at least 300 little wooden drawers each containing a possible solution to the socket challenge.
Can i have numer 7 please? No, this one. After 5th he found my adaptor that would take care of it all, for only 2 euros a bargain!

Back at home the ultimate test....brrrrrrrr the machine comes to life and the beans are being grounded, it takes more than a tiny italian socket to prevent me from having my espresso in the morning.

First steps in Italy

2008-02-11T13:11:00.000+01:00

Back on the electronic highway and this time the italian one. With quiet a few obstacles on the way I am now finally be able to tell you what my first days have been like. Although the connection is provided by the local MacDonalds branch so even my laptop is smelling like a burger.

I did spend the better part of Wednesday in Nice working in an almost empty apartment which was rather strange, preparing the place for the new owner.
End of the day closing the door behind of a place that I called home for about 8 years was a bizarre but it felt like a positive closure.
On my way to my future casa for the coming 2 months, I realised the importance of packing your car correctly... At the speed of 140km I needed to hit the brakes and all that was nicely stocked moved from the back to the front....of my neck.
Got all the stuff up in the house and dropped of some papers at the agency and thought of a suitable way of celebrating...Pizza time ! I ended up in Pizz’All where the lady was making pizza the size of Belgium with her baby next to the oven! Mama needs to work! It might also been a marketing strategy cos went it came to paying the baby started to cry pretty loud, so I quickly purchased a bottle of water with my current order. This seemed to work. All the people I met that day were friendly and giving plenty of advise about living here. You are made to feel welcome, which is nice!

Traditional Russian Spoon Stopper

2008-02-06T09:49:00.000+01:00

Yesterday evening after having send off the last emails, I was really looking forward to go to bed. Although my bed has been thrown away and the matrasses are already in Italy, I had an alternative. Something if you are into camping ... you will know; the air mattress! Nothing wrong with this, so after a quick shower I started to get some air in it with my rather sore leg, thanks to my knee. The pump I was easily was clearly something that you buy one time and than throw away. A plastic, light weight thing, that when you starting pumping it slides all across the room and obviously the tube pops out every 5 seconds. But after having spend 30 minutes to get some air in my future bed, I was ready to close it off with a plastic air stopper that is attached to it...eh was. Damn, no stopper!

This is kind of a challenge, sleeping on a airbed without a stopper. I started to search the house, like a McGyver on fire but when you move from one place to another your house tends to be...rather empty. Everything I found was either to big (evian bottle) or to small (some nails) or completely useless (coffee machine). But than my eye got a hold of the traditional wooden cups from Russia. MMMM, cups have spoons MMMMM, I started to search for the spoon and as I rightly thought, even in traditional Russia they have spoons. I picked what looked to me like the most appropriate size and pushed the end of the spoon in as the alternative air stopper.
Fantastic, it fitted like a glove. I could know started to think about sleeping, I just needed to get into the bed without putting to much weight on it. Oufff, slowly

I sat on the bed, slowly started to lean back and voila, I was laying in the bed that is securely fixed by a traditional Russian wooden spoon. Now I just needed to get up again cos I forget to turn off the lights.
Second attempt, even more scary, ...yes, it worked!.
I guess that when you are really tired everybody has a 7th sense like MacGyver and we can basically fix everything. Sweet dreams.
(photo will follow soon)

Moving Moving Moving

2008-02-05T23:42:00.000+01:00

Picking up the truck this morning was quiet an exciting moment. A 12m3 truck is quiet big and when driving it, it feel like you are actually driving a huge truck.
I was looking to chat on the radio with a code name and get some tattoo but AB and Sam where waiting at the Riviera Palace, to put the empty truck out of his misery ..of being empty.

Ab is a qualified mover, graduated from Move University in Movedam and he was motivated and had plenty of ideas to put as much as possible in it so that we only need one aller/retour. The three movers were moving fast and with a little croissant and coffee, the truck and Ab/Sam in a separate care, headed to Italy.
Where alway through the sound of my dashboard asks for my attention, NO OIL! Damn, this car is new and its a Mercedes, this cannot be happening. I call Ab that already was tapped on his fingers this morning for using his mobile in the car, and we decided to press on.

Entering the property (oil light was taking a pause) we start unpacking, sqeezing it all in the worlds smallest elevator and pushing it all in the spare room.
Our reward after a couple of hours ? A lunch at 14.00 to celebrate the completion of it all and enjoy what Italian does so well...Ravioli!
On the way back and headed to the rental agent and mentioned the problems with the oil. They claim the car is fine this a problem with the indicator... Ok, but well I think this deserves a discount for me ( espresso's are not that cheap you know) on which they agreed.

Tonite will be my last nite in the Riviera Palace, and after many emotions of the last couple of week, I am know 100% ready for the Italian adventure. I am looking forward to learn a new language and get some Italian customers, hopefully we can negotiate over a coffee and soon I will publish the South of France/ Italy guide to the best Espresso. Ciao!

The Key to Something New

2008-02-04T14:24:00.000+01:00

This afternoon I drove through the pooring rain (yes there is some here too) for a meeting with the real estate agent to collect my key to my temporary casa.
Exciting cos I only saw the place on some picture and frankly speaking those pictures didnt capture the real spirit of the place :)
Italian design is something I guess you only find outside Italia... but apart from that plenty of space, a nice view, a private parking and 5 minutes away from the city center and the sea side. Not bad at all for 2 months!

First exercise to be undertaken, walk down to the city center and start the quest for the best coffee in town. Standing at the bar, with the Gazetto della Sport (reading the images) playing with my mobile phone and wearing sun glasses, I did a good impressionating of a local. Two coffees and one little cake further I paid 1.90 euro (!) to the friendly waiter that admired my newly accquired Italian...or the lack of it. Getting back to the place, I had a look on both the terraces and even find a place to put my bikes. It really lookes like a good alternative and its even close to where I will move to in 2 months.

The only thing missing was the rental contract. The agent showed me his usual smile; not a problem Miester Bos. I make paper now, you sign and its just between us. Ok.... and let me guess, I need to pay cash? Si, of course, but that can wait until tomorrow, in the meantime settle in and have fun.
Frankly, Italians can be a bit funny but they all have been very helpful and always finding good ways to get to solutions, although the tend to involve cash payments...
Anyway, tomorrow Ab, Sam and I will be cruising down the border in a huge truck to bring what feel like the resume of my life in 12m3 !

It will be fun...but so far the start in Italy has been of great espresso value.

Bits and Pieces

2008-02-03T20:42:00.000+01:00

The whole weekend I celebrated while living among a friendly bunch of cardboard boxes. They decided that this weekend all of them wanted to be filed with my life's souvenirs, and deary me, there was tons of it!

I think you really start to understand how fortunate we are when you start moving. First of all in my case you move to a new country and a new house. Secondly I get the chance to revisit old memories through putting everything in boxes.
But what I really like, is looking through things and throwing away the material stuff you dont need. However this time I wanted not just to throw things in the bin but try to find a better life for them to provide others with new memories. So, I searched the whole town to find a special bin for recycling clothes. With 4 full bags of clothes I really didnt wanted to throw it away but surprise surprise, France doesnt seem to share my passion... I ended up giving it all to a happy employee of Auchan supermarket that mentioned that his family would be pleased.

All the other 'old' stuff I put every night on the corner of the street and its very amusing, cos within 30 minutes everything has been adopted by others.
The rest in put in the special paper bins and glass bins, recycling counts!

It does feel better to start a new life without just getting rid of it all and try to help others. Cos what is really clear, we are fortunate, being healthy and employed and that is something you start realising even more when you move to a new place. A wise lesson for me, to think about it a bit more often.
Moving seems to be a humbling experience.

Good ideas are Simple

2008-02-02T15:36:00.000+01:00

I admire people with ideas, not big ideas, just taking something simple and create something good with it. An idea of which everybody will say 'Why didnt I think of this'. Those are the most powerful ones. Of just having a simple idea is not sufficient, a real admiration and respect goes out to the entrepreneurs that Act!

Take the idea and develop it, get the finances, get it known and ignore the people that talk negative about it and push everything to the max to realise there dream/idea. A good exemple is Mr Hoberman. the creator of www.lastminute.com. An idea that was based on his experience as a student and when he sold the idea recently he got personally about 60 million pounds for his part of the business, not bad at all! But those people dont stop when they are financially independant, they speed it up.

Still plenty of ideas to fund, his and others and one of the latest really could be a great one too; its called www.mydeco.com. Basically a website that helps everybody to design or improve the inside of its house. You simple download a picture of your place, room or house and it creates a drawing. This drawing will be the base of your future place and you add whatever you wish for. You can even order the stuff you put into the design, share ideas and get help from designer professionals.

Having just purchased a new place this is really a very handy tool and I for one, will take full advance of it and see if this simple idea is again a good idea!

Starbucks sucks

2008-02-01T18:03:00.000+01:00

As an amateur of coffee you would think that I would be delighted by having Starbucks at my disposal. Well lucky me, Starbucks is not present in France nor Italy and I am not missing it at all.

The strategy of Starbucks is a coffee shop on each corner of each town. This has resultated in many shops in many countries and at a certain stage it even was fashionble to have a coffee there. I have never been a real believer in the concept, which is limited (how cool can coffee be?) and poor quality (try an italian espresso) furthermore there hunger from growth and there strategy sounds like eating your own profits. Well the results have come in and it feels like a little victory for real coffee lovers.

Starbucks has lost 40% of it profits, came last in a coffee taste survey and surprise surprise the rapid growth has come to bite them in the behind, with cannibalising sales. (Starbucks on the left is competiting with the one on the right). They now realise that they have become a franchise brand like McDonalds and Burger King (less burgers) and have lost their initial appeal.
Furthermore the concept has been rather simple to copy and many different style coffee houses have seen the light and they are doing fine. Their competitive edge is gone and they dont click anymore with their customers.

This is of course a huge problem for them and the new CEO will push hard for creative solutions and a transformation of the brand. But what I hope is that they start realizing that in order to get the customers you need a good product!
Let's drink to that !

End of an Era

2008-01-31T17:17:00.000+01:00

After long months of negotiating and multiple visits, today I handed over the keys of the house to the new owner. Having enjoyed 2 hours of notairy bla bla, I ended up with one piece of paper in my hands...A Cheque! And will subsequently be kicked out on Wednesday which is very soon and there is still plenty of stuff to organise so needless to say that a little bit of organisation skills is needed.

On the other hand it will be strange to leave the place after having spend almost 8 years there. Many memories, good and bad, but mostly good are now marching in my head and I am sure that the house will be a great one for the new owner.
On my side I am looking forward to start the Italian adventure but renting something was and is still a bit of a nightmare and I hope to get this sorted by tomorrow morning. Naturally I cannot be very picky since it is only for 2 months but well...it just needs to be right! The real estate agent is working hard to get it all organised and after having seen quiet a few places it looks like I am going to be obliged to take the first place that I saw. (how typical is that)

Adding to that is the rental of two garages to stock my stuff and I will be ready to learn a new language, experience a new culture en endulge myself in espresso's.
The place as a sea view and a small garden so lets hope that the WIFI will stretch far enough to cover the range.

Well, a weekend of packing is ahead of me and I need to rent a big truck to get the stuff 'shipped' over but that will be the fun part.
It will be a little adventure but I am looking forward to it and I am ready to create a new home that will provide for many more good memories.
Feel free to drop by, the coffee machine will be switched on 24x24.